Tuesday, May 30, 2006

New places

Well, as most of you know, today is my "official" first day as a Stay At Home Mom. As an aside, what idiot coined that phrase? Most of the ones I know stay at home all day about once a month! But I digress . . .

Technically, Friday was my last day of work -- well, the work I got paid for. However, since yesterday was Memorial Day and I would have been off anyway, I took yesterday "off." Meaning, I watched the kiddos play on the slip and slide (and beat up my sister) instead of folding laundry. Today I start my new life.

And for our family, it really is going to be a new life -- and a new place for our family. We are so used to the rat race, to running everywhere. And I'm not saying that our life is going to be totally relaxed now that I'm home -- but we should have clean clothes and clean dishes, and maybe I can make it to the grocery store more than once a month so that we're not down to "Hmm . . .what can we make with a can of Spaghetti Sauce and black beans?" (Answer: pull the tortillas you forgot about out of the fridge, grab some shredded cheese from the local convenience store and offer the children either Pizza tortillas or black bean and cheese enchiladas. A tomato sauce is a tomato sauce, right?)

So, while thinking about this, my brain turned to putting my words to paper - as it often does. The best I could come up with is below.

To My Children
As I sit here, I watch you play. I watch you laugh, and I am happy because you are happy. I am sad when you are sad, even if you are sad because I said no, or because I'm doing something "for your own good." I pray for you constantly, and I pray for those who become a part of your life. As I watch you grow, I realize this is what it is truly about. Our Lord tells us not to store up our treasures here on earth, but to store up treasures in Heaven. I cannot take one single physical item with me when I go Home. But I can take you. Each of you. So, it does not seem like a difficult decision at all to spend my time and energy and effort on the only treasures I truly have. I love you, boys. Love, Mommy.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

A snapshot

An experiment in stream of consciousness and poemic prose - apologies to both of you who read this.

A snapshot of us, from all angles.

From a close-up angle - I sit here, writing, surrounded by lights and sounds and smells. The sounds that mean my home, my world. The sounds of my children, sleeping, breathing through the thin walls of my old home. The slightly dim lights of the same older home, which seems to never have all fully functional lightbulbs. The smell, tonight, of disenfectant and sickness. My home is full of the remnants of a nasty stomach bug. Fast moving, praise God, but hard hitting. Home.

From a step farther back - the lights glow through the windows, seeming bright in the night. The TV flickers. The house is shut up tightly, closed against the chilly spring dark. The sounds here are of night bugs and birds. Faintly, the cars from the highway a half mile away provide a backdrop. The smell is fresh, spring-like, and cool. Home.

From a step farther back - Faintly, the lights can be seen through the trees. The yard is dark. It smells of the country, rural America. Still, quiet, Home.

From the farthest point - the Father sees not the house, smells not the spring night. He is the Light. His home is our hearts, if we open them. Our prayers are His sweet incense.

View it all from farther away, and the details become more clear, not less so. The important details shine, the extraneous disappears.

A snapshot of us, from all angles.