My brain is rotting

I wanted to write something profound, and deep, and thoughtful. I wanted to sound intelligent and pithy.

But I had seven children at my house today. And all I can come up with is, "Thank God for bedtime."

Dana

An image received during worship

I recently attended a woman's conference through our church, which had a very powerful worship/prayer time. I received, as clear as can be, the following image during worship time. I've held it to myself, but I feel compelled to share it now. I don't know how many people read this, but it's the best forum I have.

An image received during worship

I am a vessel, in the rain as the sun shines down.
My hands are lifted to the sun
while the rain fills me.

The rain is cool, and warms me at the same time.
It refreshes.
It fills me.

I was so empty, so dry.
I begin to fill
the rain begins to quench
Dry, cracked vessel
I begin to heal

But then --
I am called away
I hear a voice, calling my name
The voice calls me out of the sun, out of the filling rain
My Lord asks me to stay, but I begin to note the passage of time.
I am distracted from His warmth, from the rain
I answer the call of Everyday Life. I step away from the filling, out of His rain, out of His sun, into the world. Only half full.

The rain still falls
But not into me

Come back, He calls. Come back, and be filled to overflowing. But I wait. I wait, until I am once again dry and cracked, almost broken, before I step into His rain, into His sun.

And He welcomes me back. Every time.

Dana

Together

I am a UVA Cavalier fan, born and bred. My great grandfather was a professor there, I've followed Wahoo sports my entire life. I even went there for one year, and hope one day to finish my degree, and graduate there. We have an ongoing joke with Nate's cousin -- a Hokie, who is married to a Hokie. We are trying desperately to get their son, Noah, to say "Wahoowa." In response, he smiles and says, "Go Hokies."

This is way bigger than any rivalry -- way bigger than a football game or a basketball game. Today, we are friend and family. Today, we are united through a horrible, horrible tragedy that should never have occured.

So, today, I stand with everyone, in support of Virginia Tech.

Go Hokies.

Love is . . .

May I vent for a moment? Of course I can. It's my blog.

Recently, among our family and friends, we have had several couples separate or contemplate separation. Without exception, one member of each couple with trouble has said, "I don't feel like I love him/her anymore." This has, actually, made me pretty angry. So, since in the interest of family harmony and a desire not to have the mashed potatoes smashed in my head at our next family gathering, I cannot tell these couples my preferred response to this sort of statement, I'm going to say it here.

Love is not a feeling. That rush of emotion you felt at the beginning of your relationship, when all was hunky-dory, wasn't really "love." It's another four-letter word, and it's hormone-driven. When you're living real life, with real jobs and real kids and real church and real baseball and real LIFE, you're not always going to feel "love." That doesn't mean that you have the right to pack it all in, to overturn your children's lives so that you can go in search of an emotion that never lasts past six months of cleaning up someone else's dirty underwear and socks.

Let me tell you what love is. Love is an action. Love is getting up every morning, and deciding to put your husband or wife first in your life. Deciding that you will treat them with respect and dignity, that you will look for the positive and good things in them. Love is being there when they need you, and not when they don't. Love is not worrying about how you feel. Love is worrying about how they feel. Love is knowing that when the chips are down, you will be there for your sweetheart. Love is knowing that the only One whose love completes you is God, and not asking your spouse to fill that gap they are constitutionally incapable of filling.

Love is a choice. Every single morning, you get up, and you decide, "Today, I will love them." Marriages take work. No, they should not be a constant struggle. But if you leave them alone, they will die. I adore my husband. I am blessed beyond compare that Nate is mine. He is everything that I need or could ever want in a husband. I believe that. And when things are not going well, and I am washing the dishes that were left beside his chair and picking up the popsicle wrappers under the chair that he seems unable to put in the trashcan, I will choose to continue to believe that. It's easy to believe it when he is slaving away to finish a sunroom he didn't even really want to start. I choose to continue to believe it when it's not so easy to see.

If you choose to give love, you will eventually feel it in return. But you might have to actually put someone else's feelings before your own for a minute.

Dana

What God told me recently (Paraphrased)

"Hello, daughter. I want to speak to you. I see what you have been doing. I see the work you're doing, and I see your heart. Thank you for your service. I see the children's ministry, and I thank you. Thank you for teaching your children and other's children to pray to Me. Thank you for telling your boys to pray to Me when they are scared, when they are sick. Thank you for leading them to Me. But, daughter, I miss you. I miss your first love for Me, your hunger for My Word. I know what you are doing, and I know it is out of the right motivation. But, daughter, it is far more important for you to come to Me than for you to do whatever it is that claims your attention.

Daughter, I love you. I love you for you, not for what you're doing. I know that you know this -- now live it. Put Me first -- not your work for Me first. Come away. Turn off the phone. Turn off the computer. Turn off the TV. Find a babysitter. Come away with Me. Bring your empty spirit, and I will fill it. Bring your restlessness, and I will calm it. Bring your heart, your mind, your body, your soul. Bring it all to Me, give it all back to Me. Put Me at the top of the list, first thing in the morning, last thing in the evening.

Daughter, I see what you do. But I love who you are.

Come home to Me."

Priority Concern

I have recently discovered that a baseball card sold for approximately $2.35 million. Yep. For a baseball card. Don't believe me? Check this out. It's a 1909 Honus Wagner. Described as the "Holy Grail" of baseball cards.

Why does this bother me at all? It's the buyer's money, right? It's his interest, obviously -- his passion. After all, baseball is the American pastime. It's healthy (if you ignore the steroids). My own children play baseball at our local park. I have nothing at all against baseball. And I have an attic full of baseball cards -- my husband collected them like mad as a child. So, I have nothing against baseball cards. I just think that this shows how out of whack our American priorities are.

Why? Well, let's have a little history lesson. The Declaration of Independence was signed in 1776. It was actually signed on July 2, not July 4, FYI. We've been celebrating the wrong date for 231 years. John Quincy Adams was one of its biggest supporters. In 1820, this venerable man became distressed at how quickly the original Declaration was deteriorating, due to handling and exposure to the elements during viewing. He had issued 200 authorized copies issued, so that the original could be preserved. Thirty-one copies are known to still exist. A copy came to light earlier this week. Its estimated value? $250,000.

Our priorities are off.

Another year

Well, it's time for another birthday ode. My biggest little man, Joshua, turned seven years old today.

I struggled with being a mom when Josh was first born. (See here for some background.) It was not an easy time for me, for Nate, or for Josh. But today, as I looked at that little boy -- who is not so little anymore -- I have never been more grateful to have him in my life.

Josh, you are my serious, even-tempered little man. I can always count on you to help me, to be responsible and mature. You are seven, going on fifteen.

But you are also mischievous, and you love to jump out from behind the door and scare me. You tell me all your secrets, and your daddy and I are your favorite people in the whole world. You are never embarrassed or ashamed to tell someone I am your mama, and you love me.

You are growing up so fast, Josh. I can't believe you're seven. I must admit, tonight I am a little teary-eyed to think of how quickly today has come, and how much more quickly tomorrow gets here every day. But now, in this medium, with the only words I have, I want to tell you this: I love you, little man. I love your smile, your heart, your beautiful blue eyes. Never, ever doubt for one minute that your mama loves you, and that I thank God for you every, single day.

Happy Birthday.

Love,

Mommy

A rare moment of prudence

Blaine: You know, Mama, maybe I shouldn't try to do jumping jacks while I'm standing on this chair.

Good plan, son. Good plan.

The death of a church

I am sad tonight. A church I know and love (not the one I attend, but the one we used to) is dying. They have rejected the truth, they have rejected a Godly pastor, and they are hell-bent on having things their way. Not everyone in the church has this heart, of course. There are good and Godly people who call this church their home. However, they are out-maneuvered, out-powered and out-voted (congregational rule sucks) by those who insist it is "their" church. Christ is not going to argue with them about that. They want it to be "their" church, and the Lord has willingly left them to it. You walk in the building, and it's cold. There is no love, there is no friendship. There is only who said what to whom and about whom. There is only who is sitting in whose pew; who sits where in the choir loft; who leads what committee.

My heart breaks for the good people -- for my mom and dad, who still attend; for Nate's dad and step-mom; for the few other families I have known all my life who love the Lord and want to do His will. My heart breaks for Randy and his wife Lisa, his mom Dolly, his girls Abby and Becca. They uprooted their entire family and moved here from Kentucky under false pretenses. They were called to pastor, when this group of people only wanted a preacher. They wanted things their way, but to have someone to give the sermon on Sunday mornings so they could say they "did church."

I believe that the Lord has shown me the future of this church. No, I am not going crazy or new-age. But I believe that the doors of this church will close in the future. I don't know when, but I know it is going to happen. And it breaks my heart. However, the Church is the body of Christ, the people in whose hearts Christ resides -- and they are leaving that building in droves already.

We're baaa-aack

Watch out, everyone, the Rexrode boys are back in town!! And so am I, by default. I tend to go where they go. Damage control, I suppose.

We had a great time. Really. It was fabulous. However, I am seriously in need of a vacation. No one should ever look at a trip to DisneyWorld, complete with 13 hour drive, as a relaxing vacation. The boys were good, really. Well, sort of. Kind of. Okay, not really. The older two were acceptable, but the littlest was -- not. Details will come in a future post (which I have already written in my head), detailing my concerns about this little one, but suffice it to say it was a challenging week, behavior-wise. However, now that we are back home, our life will be settling back into a routine.

I do need to find the boys' floor. They came home with an insane amount of over-priced Disney memorabilia. We are not clutter people; having five people and a dog in approximately 1,000 sq. ft of space tends to make a family stay pretty much to the basics. However, given the circumstances of the payment for this trip, and the instructions of my mother-in-law and Nate's aunt and uncle to make this the trip of a lifetime, we went a bit wild with the toys. We barely fit it all in the car to bring it home, and now I am seriously wondering where it is all going to go.

So, nothing deep or philisophical from me today. I'm too relieved to be home, too appreciative of my regular hum-drum existence, and far too ready for the next women's conference at my church to come up with something profound. For your information, the no children, no husband over-night trip takes place in thirty-one days. And counting.

Dana

Where are we going?

Well, this is an open-ended question. Spiritually, metaphorically speaking, I hope that my family and I are growing toward the Lord. I hope we are moving in a positive direction, and making a real impact.

Physically and in a more literal sense, we are going to DisneyWorld. Apparently, Nate's grandfather had an unexpressed but very intense desire to take Nate to DisneyWorld when he was a child. However, due to his health and his wife's death, he was never able to. So, when he passed away and his estate settled recently, the family decided it would be a fitting use of the estate funds to send us to DisneyWorld. For free. Everything is paid for, and I do mean everything!! Food, tickets, spending $$, gas $$, accommodations. This is a huge gift to our family.

The downside -- three children six and under in a major theme park, and a 13 hour drive. However, given the tremendous opportunity which our wallets would likely never have supported independently, we are going to deal with those negatives and have a fantastic time!!

So, as we are leaving tomorrow, it is highly unlikely I'll be posting until we get back. :)

So, see y'all in a week! I'll post fabulous pictures!!!

Dana

Child Rearing Philosophies

I went to a Super Bowl party last night with a lot of family and friends. We had a really good time, and the boys were very well behaved.

Among the guests at this event were two couples with teeny infants. Aside from the voracious baby lust that someone else's smiling, happy, clean-smelling infant inspires in every female, (and don't even try to deny it), these little ones brought thoughts to my mind of different ways of raising children. Now, these two couples and my husband and I have certain similarities. We are all Christians, and we are raising our children in Christian homes. We are all rabidly Republican, and extraordinarily conservative. Two of the three families have stay at home moms, and the other mom and dad work part-time so their son is only in daycare three days a week -- with me, actually. :)

But there are also extreme differences, as in every family. We talked a little about that last night, about our different child-rearing philosophies. I am a very laid back mom, much more so than these two moms at this point. I must say, however, in my defense, that by the time they have three boys aged 6, 5 and 3 (an impossibility in one case, as they already have a daughter . . .), they will not react to screams and loud thumps as quickly, either.

So, I have decided to set forth some of my child-rearing philosophies:

1) If it is part of a healthy breakfast, it is equally acceptable as part of a healthy dinner.

2) If a child is old enough to take it out, said child is old enough to put it back.

3) Going down the slip and slide can substitute for a bath, when you are running late.

4) Artwork can be thrown away. Really. It's okay. Try not to let the kid see it, and traumatize them, but there is only so much space available.

5) It is perfectly fine for the clothing you choose to get dressed in to be a pair of footie pajamas, if we're not going to town today.

6) If a child is happy in what they are wearing, and it is seasonally appropriate, it is all good. It doesn't matter if it "matches." Who determines what "matches," anyway?

7) There are times when locking children on the back porch to give Mom a minute of peace and quiet is really in their best interests.

8) There is a constitutional amendment needed badly in this country, which would require that every mother be permitted to pee without company at least once per day.

9) Children aren't that fragile, physically. It takes a lot to break a kid -- I haven't broken one yet!!

10) Children are a lot more fragile than you think, emotionally and spiritually. Handle that part with care.

Real people, not molds

Nate and I are home from our bible study tonight, and we are now watching American Idol. We had a great talk on the way home -- not that we don't usually. I had a fabulous blog post written out. However, as I forgot my telepathic posting helmet, I shall have to attempt to recreate it here.

As part of our new role in children's ministry, Nate and I are spending a bit more time with our pastor and his wife. We have more of an opportunity to speak with them, and are spending more time with their children. We have always liked Chad and Julie, don't get me wrong. However, over the past months, we have come to truly respect them and one of our very favorite characteristics has been really brought home. They are real. They don't hide that they aren't perfect. Chad doesn't wear his "pastor suit" and speak with a different accent on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights. Julie doesn't dress their children in matching clothing and have them sit neatly throughout the entire sermon, taking notes. In Latin. They are good people, and they have good children. But they are not perfect, and they don't pretend to be.

Of all of the qualities that I admire in people, this is one of the hardest to find; the ability to be real. Watching American Idol tonight, I see these ladies and gentleman in these costumes. There is really no other way to describe what they are wearing, and these little personas that they put on to get noticed. I know why they are doing it -- they want to be the next American Idol. They need a gimmick.

My point, if I can have a point this late at night after multiple nights in a row with very little sleep, is that I want to be able to be who I am. I want to allow my children to dress themselves, even if they don't match, and give them the confidence that they look fabulous. I want my five year old to be comfortable in his footie pajamas, and never fear that someone will laugh at him. I want to raise my children to be themselves, because of my example and willingness to let my real self show. I don't want to dress a certain way, or use certain appropriate church lingo just because it is expected of me. I want my friends from church, the lady who waits on me at the grocery store, and the woman who cuts me off in traffic to see the same person inside of me. No gimmicks.

I want to be me, wrinkles and all. After all, that's who God loves - warts and all, no gimmick required. I want to be real.

Dana

Prayer Request

I may not be able to post for a couple of days. I am a glutton for punishment, who has somehow managed to overschedule our family. On Monday of this week, there will be nine children under the age of 8 in my home. On Tuesday, I will have six age 6 and under. On Wednesday, I will only have my three. On Thursday, I will have six under the age of 6 again. However, this will be a different six than on Tuesday -- and I anticipate this will be the easiest of the babysitting days. One of these extras is a 13 wk old infant, and the other two are children I watch regularly, and you can't even tell they're here! Friday will be my last day with the girls I'm watching, and there will once again be six kiddos.

So, I have no idea when I will come out of my child-induced haze to post. But I promise I'll be back.

Pray for me.

Dana

Checking in

Nothing deep or phylisophical today -- I'm too tired. It's been a long week. However, I am feeling strangely content. The house is a mess, I'm behind where I wanted to be in my transcription, I'm behind on the laundry (not that this is anything new), and I'm out of dishwashing detergent. This means that either A) the dishes pile up on the counter until tonight, when Nate brings some detergent home from the store; or B) I handwash them. Umm, get used to the piles.

Even with the piles of dishes/laundry/toys, my house is very content today. There is a noise in the air -- the noise of children playing, getting along. The TV is off, and the older boys are putting together puzzles. Justin is asleep.

All is right in the world.

Dana

Some people have absolutely no common sense

Some people have no common sense. None. Not even a little bit. Some people make choices that I simply cannot understand, under any circumstances. I absolutely don't get this.

I tried to find a link, but I couldn't. These people ride snowmobiles around a motocross like track, including things like jumping it over 100 feet. They regularly wreck, and the thing lands on them. Broken legs, arms, backs and necks are not uncommon.

I have told my children that absolutely under no circumstances should they ever, ever think about even asking me to do something that stupid. Because it ain't gonna happen.

Dana

Man, life is crazy

Well, the Rexrode clan has gone totally beserk. Seriously, totally, absolutely beserk.

Recently, Nate and I have become part of our Wed night children's ministry at our church. Actually, we're sort of leading it now. Yep, that's right. We're back in a "leadership" position at a church. Now, personally, I'm all about team leadership. I don't mind being the fall guy and doing the planning, but I'd like a lot of input. And that's the way it works here -- at least, that's the way it works now that we're in charge. :)

But in addition to this new responsibility in ministry (about which we are very, very excited!), I've also taken in some kiddos to babysit. At the moment, there are six children six and under in my house. My very, very small house. It's a bit cramped. So, this is looking like a venture that is not going to work out, at least this many children.

My point is, I think, that the Lord has really placed my home as my ministry. Nate made some (deserved) comments about how he felt coming home to a dirty house, so I've really worked at making a "home" for my children and husband, at serving the family God gave me. And then Nate and I both felt called to this cKc thing. So, we're doing that now. And then Nate is saying that he needs me to bring in more income. So, I'm following my husband's lead and submitting to his wishes, and making arrangements to bring in income. But, then I can't follow what I feel I'm being called to do, and really make a good "home." Bc trust me, this house doesn't look very homelike right now . . .

I think it may be time for a little heart-to-heart with Nate, and a little more study in the Good Book.

Your Language Arts Grade: 100%

Way to go! You know not to trust the MS Grammar Check and you know "no" from "know." Now, go forth and spread the good word (or at least, the proper use of apostrophes).

Are You Gooder at Grammar?
Make a Quiz

And hat tip to Cathy at Call Her Blessed. This score will likely not surprise her, as she did not surprise me.

:)

A question from a six year old . . .

"How did God make time?"

Thanks

Well, this is the time of year when we officially come together to be thankful for our blessings. I find it kind of sad that we as Americans, in the most blessed country in the world as far as freedoms and material blessings, must schedule a day for fear we might forget to be thankful. I believe that sometimes, in our overabundance, we can become blase about our blessings. Almost as though we deserve them. We are Americans, are we not? Everyone knows that God blesses America. Well, not to be the voice of doom, but the farther America walks from God's intended path, the less frequently those blessings will be observed. But I digress . . .

As a Christian, I should be innately thankful, every single day, for every single blessing; including the less than obvious ones, like hardships, trials and difficulties. But, in the spirit of the holiday (holy day), I believe I shall enumerate some of them.

Thank you, Father, for my husband. He works so hard to support us, and is an honest, forthright, and Godly man. I thank you for him and all he is to my life.

Thank you, Father, for my children. Thought I occasionally whine and frequently joke about them, I recognize that they are my greatest earthly ministry. I thank you for my intelligent, quiet Joshua who frequently shocks us into speechlessness by his insights and questions. I thank you for Blaine, our wide open little man. He keeps me on my toes and shows me Your love with his open hearted love for the world. I thank you for Justin, our dependent little three year old. Through working with his speech difficulties, you have taught me that not everything will come easily for us and our children. As I see him work so hard, and succeed, I understand the value of perseverance and patience.

Thank you, Father, for my friends. Thank you specifically for Melanie, who has known me for so long. She sees me as me, and not just a wife and mother. You know that I need friends who are not focused on wife and mother roles, to keep me centered on You. Thank you for her, and all she is in my life. Thank you also for Cathy. You know that I need to know I am not alone, to know that other moms have the same doubts and insecurities I do. I can see that she is a fantastic wife and mother, and I thank you for her Godly example and the friendship of someone who is where I am.

Father, I thank you for my physical blessings, including Nate's job, our warm home and the fact that our concern is how we will pay for Christmas presents, not groceries or the power bill.

Most of all, Lord, thank you for your son. Thank you for your love, and my salvation. Without that, none of these other blessings would be at all.

Happy Thanksgiving.