My children have had a great time this weekend, riding their riding toys down the hill. It's not a steep hill, but steep enough to send the riding toys flying through the yard. We have more than enough riding toys to go around (if you're ever in the area, my house is the one with so many toys outside that it looks like a preschool). However, they stopped being content with just racing down the hill. Instead, they made an "invention." They are all big Jimmy Neutron fans, and so they are always inventing something or other. This invention involved a plastic riding tractor, a plastic wagon, the Radio Flyer red wagon, a tricycle and my entire meager collection of belts. And the dog leash. And the binocular straps. These were finagled by J-Rooni, to all be hooked together. And then ridden, while tied together, down the hill.
I will have you know, it has not been necessary to make a single trip to the emergency room.
I wished all of their "inventions" worked so well.
Monday, August 28, 2006
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Odd . . .
I just spell-checked that last post, and do you realize that blogger.com's built-in spell checker doesn't recognize the word "blog."
Ironic, ain't it?
Ironic, ain't it?
Our first day!
Okay, I really, really promise - this is NOT going to turn into a homeschool blog. But I couldn't tell everyone so much about the concept, and then not talk about our first day, could I?
Yesterday, as I wrote earlier, we went to the library, and each boy chose books for their book bags, which are the bags full of books (hence the oh-so-creative name) which I use to occupy one child while working one on one with the other when doing the reading and math, which are the only two things they have separately.
This morning, we got up and started our school routine (get up, get dressed independently, brush teeth, pick up your room, come in, eat breakfast), and we sat down at the table at about 9:30 to begin work. It will usually be 9:00, but my mom had a meeting in town, so we had to feed the calf. So, we sat down and I distracted J-Bo with Mr. Potato Head while we did Bible. Then, I had J-Rooni start on reviewing his letters and printing all of them in his best handwriting while B-Boo did his reading. Then, while B-Boo was doing his activity, J-Rooni did his language arts part. By this time, J-Bo was bored with Mr. Potato Head, and so I let him draw on the dry erase board. B-Boo finished up and played with J-Bo for a minute, while J-Rooni finished up his language arts part. Then, we got back together and did a little more review. We sang some songs, did an art project (page one of our Creation Book), which J-Bo got to help with, and then we were done! During J-Bo's nap, I read aloud for thirty minutes and they each read for at least fifteen (B-Boo) or thirty (J-Rooni). Not counting the reading time, we had a little over an hour and a half in school!
Now, this is just the introductory unit, which lasts about ten days. Since the curriculum we're using is My Father's World, which focuses on the world around us and God's part in it, the intro is an overview of creation. Usually, we'll have about two and a half hours each day with book work, not counting activities or the reading time.
I'm really fortunate, b/c the curriculum is easily made to be a multi-year approach. This means that both boys are in the same unit, in the same place, doing the same activities. I only do separate reading and math. After all, only being 17 months apart, there isn't a lot of cognitive difference in them as far as science and art go. And I just go as deep in depth as they want to go, or as I think they need to go. They each absorb to their own level. I expect more memory and more detail out of J-Rooni, since he is older. And he has a first grade (actually, it's really a second grade) language arts and math curriculum. Once the real work starts, ten days into it, we will do calendar and number of the day and 100 Chart together, with me expecting B-Bo to know the numbers and the day before and the day after, and J-Rooni to do simple equations (i.e., ___ + ___= number of the day). So, it limits my preparation and the amount of downtime each child has, but still allows me to go to the limits of their individual ability.
Well, that's enough droning on for tonight, I think. I'm just so fired up that it was such a great, great day!!!!
Now I have to go make homemade clay so we can make pottery jars tomorrow . . .
Yesterday, as I wrote earlier, we went to the library, and each boy chose books for their book bags, which are the bags full of books (hence the oh-so-creative name) which I use to occupy one child while working one on one with the other when doing the reading and math, which are the only two things they have separately.
This morning, we got up and started our school routine (get up, get dressed independently, brush teeth, pick up your room, come in, eat breakfast), and we sat down at the table at about 9:30 to begin work. It will usually be 9:00, but my mom had a meeting in town, so we had to feed the calf. So, we sat down and I distracted J-Bo with Mr. Potato Head while we did Bible. Then, I had J-Rooni start on reviewing his letters and printing all of them in his best handwriting while B-Boo did his reading. Then, while B-Boo was doing his activity, J-Rooni did his language arts part. By this time, J-Bo was bored with Mr. Potato Head, and so I let him draw on the dry erase board. B-Boo finished up and played with J-Bo for a minute, while J-Rooni finished up his language arts part. Then, we got back together and did a little more review. We sang some songs, did an art project (page one of our Creation Book), which J-Bo got to help with, and then we were done! During J-Bo's nap, I read aloud for thirty minutes and they each read for at least fifteen (B-Boo) or thirty (J-Rooni). Not counting the reading time, we had a little over an hour and a half in school!
Now, this is just the introductory unit, which lasts about ten days. Since the curriculum we're using is My Father's World, which focuses on the world around us and God's part in it, the intro is an overview of creation. Usually, we'll have about two and a half hours each day with book work, not counting activities or the reading time.
I'm really fortunate, b/c the curriculum is easily made to be a multi-year approach. This means that both boys are in the same unit, in the same place, doing the same activities. I only do separate reading and math. After all, only being 17 months apart, there isn't a lot of cognitive difference in them as far as science and art go. And I just go as deep in depth as they want to go, or as I think they need to go. They each absorb to their own level. I expect more memory and more detail out of J-Rooni, since he is older. And he has a first grade (actually, it's really a second grade) language arts and math curriculum. Once the real work starts, ten days into it, we will do calendar and number of the day and 100 Chart together, with me expecting B-Bo to know the numbers and the day before and the day after, and J-Rooni to do simple equations (i.e., ___ + ___= number of the day). So, it limits my preparation and the amount of downtime each child has, but still allows me to go to the limits of their individual ability.
Well, that's enough droning on for tonight, I think. I'm just so fired up that it was such a great, great day!!!!
Now I have to go make homemade clay so we can make pottery jars tomorrow . . .
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Off to the library . . .
The boys and I went to the library this morning with my mom and my sister. My mom took us to lunch, for our last day of summer. She is a bus driver for the local public schools, so she went back to work on Monday. But, of course, she is off during the day.
On the way back, the boys were hot and whiny. They started whining that they wanted to ride Mannaw's bus, and that they wanted to go back to their real school. My mom is not really "pro-homeschool," so this was about the worst timing imaginable. She made a couple of comments about how she just wasn't sure about this whole idea, and then we moved on.
This led to a common (for me) dilemma. How much do I take into account what my boys want when I'm considering what is best for them? Obviously, not too much, but it plays some role. It's all about balancing what they want with what they need. Nate and I, as their parents, have determined that we want for them an educational system that allows us to put the Lord first, and credits Him as appropriate with His creation of the universe, and ongoing role as Lord and Savior. We, as their mom and dad, have determined that the boys need more one-on-one time, that our family needs to slow down and enjoy life more, and that we need to be more flexible. Homeschooling allows all of this. It doesn't, unfortunately, allow for the same peer group that they became used to last year. However, given some of the words B-Boo came home with last year, that may not be a bad thing . . .
*sigh* - being a mom is NOT easy. Don't let anyone ever tell you it is!!
On the way back, the boys were hot and whiny. They started whining that they wanted to ride Mannaw's bus, and that they wanted to go back to their real school. My mom is not really "pro-homeschool," so this was about the worst timing imaginable. She made a couple of comments about how she just wasn't sure about this whole idea, and then we moved on.
This led to a common (for me) dilemma. How much do I take into account what my boys want when I'm considering what is best for them? Obviously, not too much, but it plays some role. It's all about balancing what they want with what they need. Nate and I, as their parents, have determined that we want for them an educational system that allows us to put the Lord first, and credits Him as appropriate with His creation of the universe, and ongoing role as Lord and Savior. We, as their mom and dad, have determined that the boys need more one-on-one time, that our family needs to slow down and enjoy life more, and that we need to be more flexible. Homeschooling allows all of this. It doesn't, unfortunately, allow for the same peer group that they became used to last year. However, given some of the words B-Boo came home with last year, that may not be a bad thing . . .
*sigh* - being a mom is NOT easy. Don't let anyone ever tell you it is!!
Monday, August 21, 2006
Things I wish my children instinctively knew
- Toilet flushing is not hazardous to one's health
- Toys do not magically put themselves back in the toybox. It does not matter how long you leave it lying on the floor; it will never grow legs and walk in by itself.
- Dirty dishes operate in much the same way toys do.
- "Helping" doesn't mean doing the part you think is fun. I love you, but sometimes, really helping means staying out of the way.
- It is possible to play without hitting, wrestling or destroying something.
- All the whining does is irritate me. Really. It's not helping.
- The best way to get what you want is to obey.
*sigh*
I guess this is the reason they need me, right? :)
- Toys do not magically put themselves back in the toybox. It does not matter how long you leave it lying on the floor; it will never grow legs and walk in by itself.
- Dirty dishes operate in much the same way toys do.
- "Helping" doesn't mean doing the part you think is fun. I love you, but sometimes, really helping means staying out of the way.
- It is possible to play without hitting, wrestling or destroying something.
- All the whining does is irritate me. Really. It's not helping.
- The best way to get what you want is to obey.
*sigh*
I guess this is the reason they need me, right? :)
Saturday, August 19, 2006
This is not a homeschool blog . . .
But it is a blog about my life and what I'm thinking about. And, right now, all I'm thinking about is homeschooling. I tend to do that about things. When something is big in my life, it's sort of all I tend to think about. I have a bit of an obsessive personality, you might say. I've been reorganizing and cleaning my house to make room for a school area and an organizational system; I've been researching homeschooling on the internet and finding sample schedules; I've been embroidering "proud homeschool mom" on all of my clothes -- okay, maybe not that one.
So, I was sitting on the bed trying to set out lesson plans. Now, the curricula come with lesson plans, but I'm trying to adapt them by combining some activities between the two kids, and allowing J-Bo to participate as much as possible. I've never actually homeschooled before, obviously, so this may well be an exercise in futility. I like the idea of a nifty schedule and a more structure day, as it keeps me accountable. However, realistically, I know that we won't always (ever?) stick exactly to it. After all, the flexibility of homeschooling was one of its biggest selling points to us.
I suppose I better just wing it for a week or two, and then reevaluate. Or, most likely, just keep winging it -- after all, I haven't ruined my kids so far, right? :)
So, I was sitting on the bed trying to set out lesson plans. Now, the curricula come with lesson plans, but I'm trying to adapt them by combining some activities between the two kids, and allowing J-Bo to participate as much as possible. I've never actually homeschooled before, obviously, so this may well be an exercise in futility. I like the idea of a nifty schedule and a more structure day, as it keeps me accountable. However, realistically, I know that we won't always (ever?) stick exactly to it. After all, the flexibility of homeschooling was one of its biggest selling points to us.
I suppose I better just wing it for a week or two, and then reevaluate. Or, most likely, just keep winging it -- after all, I haven't ruined my kids so far, right? :)
Thursday, August 17, 2006
School shopping
I had the privilege of going school shopping the other night, with my husband and without my children. As this is our first year of homeschool, I believe we may have gone a little overboard with purchasing our supplies. I was afraid I would be right in the middle of a lesson and not have what I needed. Plus, lots of old homeschool veterans have told me, over and over, "Make sure you have what you need. Don't try to scrimp on supplies. You will only create frustration." So, off to K-Mart I went, with my wallet-carrying husband in tow.
We got everything on the list in the curriculum, in duplicates, along with some extras for J-Bo to play with while the older two are having school. We spent about $115. At first, I could not believe how much it cost. Then, I happened to take a look at the lists of required from the public schools that were on all the shelves. There was more stuff on there than we bought. They now require hand sanitizer, tissues, wet wipes, crayons and such to share, specific types of notebooks (and woe to you if you buy the wrong one!); the list went on and on. After glancing at the lists, I believe that we would have had more in supplying the kids for public school!
I thought it was supposed to be free . . . .
We got everything on the list in the curriculum, in duplicates, along with some extras for J-Bo to play with while the older two are having school. We spent about $115. At first, I could not believe how much it cost. Then, I happened to take a look at the lists of required from the public schools that were on all the shelves. There was more stuff on there than we bought. They now require hand sanitizer, tissues, wet wipes, crayons and such to share, specific types of notebooks (and woe to you if you buy the wrong one!); the list went on and on. After glancing at the lists, I believe that we would have had more in supplying the kids for public school!
I thought it was supposed to be free . . . .
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Friends
A side effect of my recent attempts at prioritizing better, including setting aside time to blog more regularly, is that I have thought about the things in my life that are important, and are worthy of my time. Obviously, my faith and my family are first, and are worthy of my time and attention. But something that I think we as women often forget is friendship with other women.
I have three particularly close friends, outside of my family. I have many acquaintances, and some others I would call friends. But these three are the ones that come to mind when I think, "Friend."
First is my friend Melanie. She has been my friend since 9th grade, and has known me the longest. She knew me in high school, when Nate and I were dating, and through our wedding and the addition of three boys. She is now preparing to get married, and so we are and have been at very different places in our lives. But friendship is more than just superficial things - I have the facts of marriage and children in common with tons of women. And we could always find something to talk about! But Melanie and I have honesty, at an unusual level, and deep, core values in common.
Second is my friend Cathy. We met first about eight years ago, but really became friends first about four years ago. She is a woman with whom I have children and marriage, and the type of work we do, but so, so much more in common. We view so many things the same way, that it is scary sometimes! I can say things like, "I wish my children would just go away today," or, "You know, if I don't sweep up the goldfish they just spilled, the dog will eat them eventually," and know that she feels just where I'm coming from!
Third is my friend Val. We haven't been friends very long, but we very quickly went past the preliminary getting-to-know-you stages, and have progressed to the, "Now, I'm leaving all three of my kids with you for more than one night, and you're good with that, right?" stage. I have kept five of her eight kiddos, and she's keeping all three of mine at one time. Because of the age spread in her kids, she's actually taking on a lot more work than I did! But, we don't work that way. It's about helping, and talking, and having a sounding board and someone to be where we are, right there with us. We have a lot more than just our kids in common - we were both young moms, we're active in the same church, for starters.
Well, ladies, I thought that you deserved your own post, for all of your influence on me. Thanks so much for being my friends!! I need you and love you all more than you know!!
I have three particularly close friends, outside of my family. I have many acquaintances, and some others I would call friends. But these three are the ones that come to mind when I think, "Friend."
First is my friend Melanie. She has been my friend since 9th grade, and has known me the longest. She knew me in high school, when Nate and I were dating, and through our wedding and the addition of three boys. She is now preparing to get married, and so we are and have been at very different places in our lives. But friendship is more than just superficial things - I have the facts of marriage and children in common with tons of women. And we could always find something to talk about! But Melanie and I have honesty, at an unusual level, and deep, core values in common.
Second is my friend Cathy. We met first about eight years ago, but really became friends first about four years ago. She is a woman with whom I have children and marriage, and the type of work we do, but so, so much more in common. We view so many things the same way, that it is scary sometimes! I can say things like, "I wish my children would just go away today," or, "You know, if I don't sweep up the goldfish they just spilled, the dog will eat them eventually," and know that she feels just where I'm coming from!
Third is my friend Val. We haven't been friends very long, but we very quickly went past the preliminary getting-to-know-you stages, and have progressed to the, "Now, I'm leaving all three of my kids with you for more than one night, and you're good with that, right?" stage. I have kept five of her eight kiddos, and she's keeping all three of mine at one time. Because of the age spread in her kids, she's actually taking on a lot more work than I did! But, we don't work that way. It's about helping, and talking, and having a sounding board and someone to be where we are, right there with us. We have a lot more than just our kids in common - we were both young moms, we're active in the same church, for starters.
Well, ladies, I thought that you deserved your own post, for all of your influence on me. Thanks so much for being my friends!! I need you and love you all more than you know!!
Sunday, August 13, 2006
The joys of sick children
Two out of my three kiddos are sick or afflicted in some way this weekend, and I am going to be perfectly honest - there are some good things about sick kids. Now, I am not talking about serious sickness, where you are terrified for them and would give anything, anything at all, to see them healthy again. I am so blessed to have experienced that sort of sickness only peripherally, when B-Boo was a six week old infant and struggling to breathe with RSV and pneumonia. It was a crazy time in our life, and I think back and am so, so grateful it passed quickly and I can look back on those days with the knowledge that Lord brought him the next breath every single time.
I'm thinking today about the kind of sickness every child has. The kind of sickness that causes the following sentence to come from the mouth of a four-year-old, "It's okay, Mama. This time, it was just big, mushy poopy-doodles." J-Bo had an accident yesterday, and as a result has a busted lip and is feeling a little sore. So, he's just kind of laying around. B-Boo has an upset stomach (obviously) and lots of congestion and runny eyes. So, he is just kind of laying around. I don't want any of my children to be sick - I want them happy and healthy, of course. But, they are all getting so big that they don't really cuddle with Mama much anymore. And, it's kind of nice to have them wanting to be in my lap. And, to be honest, when they're sick I don't feel guilty cutting on the TV and letting them watch while I do some of the eight million things I don't usually have time to do. They are a lot easier to watch that way.
So, while I certainly will be glad when they are all well again, there is some part of me that loves that Mama is the only one that can hold them, the only one that makes it better.
Except when it's 2:00 a.m.
I'm thinking today about the kind of sickness every child has. The kind of sickness that causes the following sentence to come from the mouth of a four-year-old, "It's okay, Mama. This time, it was just big, mushy poopy-doodles." J-Bo had an accident yesterday, and as a result has a busted lip and is feeling a little sore. So, he's just kind of laying around. B-Boo has an upset stomach (obviously) and lots of congestion and runny eyes. So, he is just kind of laying around. I don't want any of my children to be sick - I want them happy and healthy, of course. But, they are all getting so big that they don't really cuddle with Mama much anymore. And, it's kind of nice to have them wanting to be in my lap. And, to be honest, when they're sick I don't feel guilty cutting on the TV and letting them watch while I do some of the eight million things I don't usually have time to do. They are a lot easier to watch that way.
So, while I certainly will be glad when they are all well again, there is some part of me that loves that Mama is the only one that can hold them, the only one that makes it better.
Except when it's 2:00 a.m.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
What was I thinking?
What on earth was I thinking? Seriously. Somehow, I had this magical thought that once I was at home with my children full time, I would have oodles to say and be blessed with hours worth of time to type it. Okay, maybe I wasn't quite that naive, but I certainly thought I would have more time than when I was working full time.
I think maybe what I didn't realize was that I would still be working full time. Only, even more so than before. Working full time outside of the home was easier than this, at least for me.
And I haven't even started my homeschool year yet . . .
But the other thing that I've learned is that I need this place to just say something, to just put my thoughts out there. Even if no one ever reads it -- and I don't know if anyone ever does. But that's not what it's about for me. It's all about feeling heard. If any man were to ever read this, they would likely not get that last statement. But for the women who may read, I think you will. If I put it out there, I feel heard.
So, I am making a commitment to be more disciplined about this!! After all, how will I be able to keep a maintained school schedule, if I can't even commit to fifteen minutes to write a day?
Keep me accountable!! :)
I think maybe what I didn't realize was that I would still be working full time. Only, even more so than before. Working full time outside of the home was easier than this, at least for me.
And I haven't even started my homeschool year yet . . .
But the other thing that I've learned is that I need this place to just say something, to just put my thoughts out there. Even if no one ever reads it -- and I don't know if anyone ever does. But that's not what it's about for me. It's all about feeling heard. If any man were to ever read this, they would likely not get that last statement. But for the women who may read, I think you will. If I put it out there, I feel heard.
So, I am making a commitment to be more disciplined about this!! After all, how will I be able to keep a maintained school schedule, if I can't even commit to fifteen minutes to write a day?
Keep me accountable!! :)
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
New places
Well, as most of you know, today is my "official" first day as a Stay At Home Mom. As an aside, what idiot coined that phrase? Most of the ones I know stay at home all day about once a month! But I digress . . .
Technically, Friday was my last day of work -- well, the work I got paid for. However, since yesterday was Memorial Day and I would have been off anyway, I took yesterday "off." Meaning, I watched the kiddos play on the slip and slide (and beat up my sister) instead of folding laundry. Today I start my new life.
And for our family, it really is going to be a new life -- and a new place for our family. We are so used to the rat race, to running everywhere. And I'm not saying that our life is going to be totally relaxed now that I'm home -- but we should have clean clothes and clean dishes, and maybe I can make it to the grocery store more than once a month so that we're not down to "Hmm . . .what can we make with a can of Spaghetti Sauce and black beans?" (Answer: pull the tortillas you forgot about out of the fridge, grab some shredded cheese from the local convenience store and offer the children either Pizza tortillas or black bean and cheese enchiladas. A tomato sauce is a tomato sauce, right?)
So, while thinking about this, my brain turned to putting my words to paper - as it often does. The best I could come up with is below.
To My Children
As I sit here, I watch you play. I watch you laugh, and I am happy because you are happy. I am sad when you are sad, even if you are sad because I said no, or because I'm doing something "for your own good." I pray for you constantly, and I pray for those who become a part of your life. As I watch you grow, I realize this is what it is truly about. Our Lord tells us not to store up our treasures here on earth, but to store up treasures in Heaven. I cannot take one single physical item with me when I go Home. But I can take you. Each of you. So, it does not seem like a difficult decision at all to spend my time and energy and effort on the only treasures I truly have. I love you, boys. Love, Mommy.
Technically, Friday was my last day of work -- well, the work I got paid for. However, since yesterday was Memorial Day and I would have been off anyway, I took yesterday "off." Meaning, I watched the kiddos play on the slip and slide (and beat up my sister) instead of folding laundry. Today I start my new life.
And for our family, it really is going to be a new life -- and a new place for our family. We are so used to the rat race, to running everywhere. And I'm not saying that our life is going to be totally relaxed now that I'm home -- but we should have clean clothes and clean dishes, and maybe I can make it to the grocery store more than once a month so that we're not down to "Hmm . . .what can we make with a can of Spaghetti Sauce and black beans?" (Answer: pull the tortillas you forgot about out of the fridge, grab some shredded cheese from the local convenience store and offer the children either Pizza tortillas or black bean and cheese enchiladas. A tomato sauce is a tomato sauce, right?)
So, while thinking about this, my brain turned to putting my words to paper - as it often does. The best I could come up with is below.
To My Children
As I sit here, I watch you play. I watch you laugh, and I am happy because you are happy. I am sad when you are sad, even if you are sad because I said no, or because I'm doing something "for your own good." I pray for you constantly, and I pray for those who become a part of your life. As I watch you grow, I realize this is what it is truly about. Our Lord tells us not to store up our treasures here on earth, but to store up treasures in Heaven. I cannot take one single physical item with me when I go Home. But I can take you. Each of you. So, it does not seem like a difficult decision at all to spend my time and energy and effort on the only treasures I truly have. I love you, boys. Love, Mommy.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
A snapshot
An experiment in stream of consciousness and poemic prose - apologies to both of you who read this.
A snapshot of us, from all angles.
From a close-up angle - I sit here, writing, surrounded by lights and sounds and smells. The sounds that mean my home, my world. The sounds of my children, sleeping, breathing through the thin walls of my old home. The slightly dim lights of the same older home, which seems to never have all fully functional lightbulbs. The smell, tonight, of disenfectant and sickness. My home is full of the remnants of a nasty stomach bug. Fast moving, praise God, but hard hitting. Home.
From a step farther back - the lights glow through the windows, seeming bright in the night. The TV flickers. The house is shut up tightly, closed against the chilly spring dark. The sounds here are of night bugs and birds. Faintly, the cars from the highway a half mile away provide a backdrop. The smell is fresh, spring-like, and cool. Home.
From a step farther back - Faintly, the lights can be seen through the trees. The yard is dark. It smells of the country, rural America. Still, quiet, Home.
From the farthest point - the Father sees not the house, smells not the spring night. He is the Light. His home is our hearts, if we open them. Our prayers are His sweet incense.
View it all from farther away, and the details become more clear, not less so. The important details shine, the extraneous disappears.
A snapshot of us, from all angles.
A snapshot of us, from all angles.
From a close-up angle - I sit here, writing, surrounded by lights and sounds and smells. The sounds that mean my home, my world. The sounds of my children, sleeping, breathing through the thin walls of my old home. The slightly dim lights of the same older home, which seems to never have all fully functional lightbulbs. The smell, tonight, of disenfectant and sickness. My home is full of the remnants of a nasty stomach bug. Fast moving, praise God, but hard hitting. Home.
From a step farther back - the lights glow through the windows, seeming bright in the night. The TV flickers. The house is shut up tightly, closed against the chilly spring dark. The sounds here are of night bugs and birds. Faintly, the cars from the highway a half mile away provide a backdrop. The smell is fresh, spring-like, and cool. Home.
From a step farther back - Faintly, the lights can be seen through the trees. The yard is dark. It smells of the country, rural America. Still, quiet, Home.
From the farthest point - the Father sees not the house, smells not the spring night. He is the Light. His home is our hearts, if we open them. Our prayers are His sweet incense.
View it all from farther away, and the details become more clear, not less so. The important details shine, the extraneous disappears.
A snapshot of us, from all angles.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Profound Thoughts
My friend Cathy wrote a recent post about how she can never think what to write when she is in front of her computer; how her profound thoughts always strike her when she's doing something else. For me, my most profound thoughts strike while I'm driving down the road, by myself. I work in town, and J-Bo is in daycare out near my house. So, I usually have a twenty-five minute drive, each way, to think and listen to the radio. My thoughts range from the profound (I was recently struck by the truth that time isn't linear) to the the mundane (generally a grocery list or dinner menu). So, on the way home this evening, I was thinking about the way the Bible calls us to behave. Now, I do NOT believe that you have to behave in a certain way, or "earn" your way to Heaven. I believe that if you love the Lord, you will want to behave in ways that please Him. The Bible just tells us what those ways are.
So, today, as I'm driving down the road, I was thinking the following: 1) No one in this town can drive except me (present company excepted, of course); 2) I do not like sharing the road with people who cannot drive; 3) Life would be a lot easier if the Bible called us to "share our feelings." For example, it would be a lot nicer if the Bible called us to really let the lady who cut us off have it - just let her know how we feel. Or that guy on his cell phone who almost ran us out of the road at the interstate interchange. I'd really like to get up close and personal with him. But I have the Christian fish symbol on my car, and a bumper sticker advertising the Christian radio station in this area on my back glass. So, I am attempting to live up to that witnesss, and behave as Christ would.
Maybe tomorrow, I'll take the bus . . .
So, today, as I'm driving down the road, I was thinking the following: 1) No one in this town can drive except me (present company excepted, of course); 2) I do not like sharing the road with people who cannot drive; 3) Life would be a lot easier if the Bible called us to "share our feelings." For example, it would be a lot nicer if the Bible called us to really let the lady who cut us off have it - just let her know how we feel. Or that guy on his cell phone who almost ran us out of the road at the interstate interchange. I'd really like to get up close and personal with him. But I have the Christian fish symbol on my car, and a bumper sticker advertising the Christian radio station in this area on my back glass. So, I am attempting to live up to that witnesss, and behave as Christ would.
Maybe tomorrow, I'll take the bus . . .
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Can you know?
My husband and I went to see Third Day in concert a while back with some friends. They put on an AWESOME show. I truly enjoyed the experience, and the music was just fantastic. The opening act, The David Crowder Band, was also very entertaining. I would definitely go see either of them in concert again!
One of my favorite parts of the show was when Third Day's lead singer, Mac Powell, spoke about his daughter Scout, who is six years old, coming to know the Lord. He was happy, of course, but he said he wondered deep inside if his daughter really knew what she was doing, what she was saying. He wondered if she knew what salvation was all about, what God was all about, or if she was just moving forward on limited understanding.
I've been thinking about this recently, with all of my job changes coming up in the next couple of months, and J-Bo's biological parents beginning to approach their release dates.
He said that God spoke to him - not literally, but in the stillness of his heart - and told him, "You don't know. Do you think you have any better understanding of my nature than she does?"
I fully understand that I don't fully understand the nature of God. I love Him, and He loves me, and He's watching out for my family. But I think that my children, with their wide-eyed belief and firm, unshakeable faith in the Lord and His love for them, and His creation, probably have a better idea of God's nature than I do, with my questions and doubts.
My children continuously test me, frustrate me, and drive me nuts. But, at times like this, they inspire me, too.
One of my favorite parts of the show was when Third Day's lead singer, Mac Powell, spoke about his daughter Scout, who is six years old, coming to know the Lord. He was happy, of course, but he said he wondered deep inside if his daughter really knew what she was doing, what she was saying. He wondered if she knew what salvation was all about, what God was all about, or if she was just moving forward on limited understanding.
I've been thinking about this recently, with all of my job changes coming up in the next couple of months, and J-Bo's biological parents beginning to approach their release dates.
He said that God spoke to him - not literally, but in the stillness of his heart - and told him, "You don't know. Do you think you have any better understanding of my nature than she does?"
I fully understand that I don't fully understand the nature of God. I love Him, and He loves me, and He's watching out for my family. But I think that my children, with their wide-eyed belief and firm, unshakeable faith in the Lord and His love for them, and His creation, probably have a better idea of God's nature than I do, with my questions and doubts.
My children continuously test me, frustrate me, and drive me nuts. But, at times like this, they inspire me, too.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Changes
You know, tonight for some reason, I keep thinking about how much my life has changed since my oldest son was born. J-Rooni is six, and he just seems so big to me right now. I don't know why, but for some reason, the changes in my life have just struck me very much. For example, I took the two older boys to Bible Study tonight. My husband gets migraines, and he had a bad one tonight. So, the baby, J-Bo, stayed at home with him, and I took the older two with me. Why, might you ask, did this trigger soul searching and introspection? Perhaps, you might say, it was a message from my gifted pastor, or something one of my brothers or sisters in Christ may have said while we were fellowshiping (Christianese for talking) after the study. Or perhaps even the lesson my children learned while they were there that struck me just so.
Nope. Not even close. Tonight, it was the water that the four year old, B-Boo, dumped on me that made me think. He did not want to leave when we were done, because he wanted a turn to play the drums on the stage. It's a church with a contemporary service, and we have a wonderful praise band. The guy who runs the soundboard lets the children come up on the stage after church and, with his direct supervision, play the drums and learn about the musical instruments. I have not yet let B-Boo experience this - or rather, I have not yet forced the church to endure him on a set of drums. He's loud enough with the instruments God gave him; I've not seen any reason to gift him with "musical" instruments. He got very upset at me, not only for not letting him play, but for causing him to spill his water when I held his arm and made him walk back down the steps with me. He actually threw the cup at me, with the little water that was in it. Now, I will grant him some leeway because it was an hour past his bedtime, he was very hungry, and he had already had a rough day. But even given that, there is no excuse for what he did. So, I held his arm, made him walk to the row of chairs, sat him down, and got J-Rooni ready to roll. I gathered all of their stuff, my Bible, notebook and cell phone, and we climbed up in the car.
What do you mean, you're still not seeing it? You don't see the reason for my introspection yet?
As I got in the car and prepared to go through the Burger King drive thru, it struck me that I had just handled a scene. I had been by myself with both bigger boys, and there was a lot going on, and I took control and did what I needed to do and handled it. If you had been inside my head during those awful days after J-Rooni was born, when it didn't seem like I would ever be in control of even myself; or part of my family during those first months when J-Bo came to live with us and things were so crazy, I wondered if I was destroying my family by trying to save him, you would see it. You would see how far I have come.
I'm not saying that I am completely all together, or the best mom ever, or any other ridiculous blather. But I'm saying I'm okay. I'm making it, I've got it as together as it's ever going to get around here, and I'm raising great kids.
And that, especially that, makes it all worth it.
Nope. Not even close. Tonight, it was the water that the four year old, B-Boo, dumped on me that made me think. He did not want to leave when we were done, because he wanted a turn to play the drums on the stage. It's a church with a contemporary service, and we have a wonderful praise band. The guy who runs the soundboard lets the children come up on the stage after church and, with his direct supervision, play the drums and learn about the musical instruments. I have not yet let B-Boo experience this - or rather, I have not yet forced the church to endure him on a set of drums. He's loud enough with the instruments God gave him; I've not seen any reason to gift him with "musical" instruments. He got very upset at me, not only for not letting him play, but for causing him to spill his water when I held his arm and made him walk back down the steps with me. He actually threw the cup at me, with the little water that was in it. Now, I will grant him some leeway because it was an hour past his bedtime, he was very hungry, and he had already had a rough day. But even given that, there is no excuse for what he did. So, I held his arm, made him walk to the row of chairs, sat him down, and got J-Rooni ready to roll. I gathered all of their stuff, my Bible, notebook and cell phone, and we climbed up in the car.
What do you mean, you're still not seeing it? You don't see the reason for my introspection yet?
As I got in the car and prepared to go through the Burger King drive thru, it struck me that I had just handled a scene. I had been by myself with both bigger boys, and there was a lot going on, and I took control and did what I needed to do and handled it. If you had been inside my head during those awful days after J-Rooni was born, when it didn't seem like I would ever be in control of even myself; or part of my family during those first months when J-Bo came to live with us and things were so crazy, I wondered if I was destroying my family by trying to save him, you would see it. You would see how far I have come.
I'm not saying that I am completely all together, or the best mom ever, or any other ridiculous blather. But I'm saying I'm okay. I'm making it, I've got it as together as it's ever going to get around here, and I'm raising great kids.
And that, especially that, makes it all worth it.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Well, just to fill in the three of you who actually read this, lol, I am now typing this on my new laptop computer! Yep, I'm moving on up in the world, to a laptop. And I now have DSL at home. So, I'll actually be able to update this.
I hope you all are ready -- my brain has been very busy while my computer has been down. And of course, I'm sure you're absolutely dying to know what my three little "angels" have been up to!!
I hope you all are ready -- my brain has been very busy while my computer has been down. And of course, I'm sure you're absolutely dying to know what my three little "angels" have been up to!!
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Change is in the air
I am terrified. I am scared stiff. I have finally told my work that I can no longer afford to keep my children in daycare full time, particularly this summer when the older two are out of school. Nate has a good job now, and things are going pretty well. We're broke all of the time, but somehow I think that we won't be any more broke without my full income, because the cut in daycare will break even. But the money is not even really why I'm so scared. I really want to know, am I doing the right thing?
There is a joke that I'm sure you know, about a man whose home town is flooding. He is in his house, and the water is up on the porch, when his neighbors leave in their john boat. They ask him to come along, and he says, "No, God will save me." The water continues to rise, and the man is up on his second story, when the National Guard come through in their boat. He refuses to leave with them, saying, "No, God will save me." The water gets even higher, and he's up on his roof when an Army helicopter comes by and tries to get him. He refuses, saying, "No, God will save me." The man drowns, and stands before God. He says, "God, where were You? I thought You would save me." God looks at the man and says, "I sent you two boats and a helicopter."
I want to do what the Lord wants me to do. I want to do His will. But what is His will? We have prayed, and read, and studied, and I feel we are doing the best thing we can. But I still wonder, are we stepping out on faith, cutting my income this way? Are we doing God's will, trusting in Him to provide financially for our family, and putting our focus on the other, much more important aspects of life? Or is God saying, "I sent you a good job. I have provided for you."
Has he sent me two boats and a helicopter?
I don't think I can know at this point. I am reminded of my very favorite poem, credited Anonymous, which I feel must have been written by someone facing a life-changing decision, and I think it describes where we stand right now:
FAITH
When you have come to the edge
of all the light you know
and are about to step off
into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing
one of two things will happen:
There will be something solid to stand on,
or you will be taught how to fly.
So, please pray for us, as we step off . . .
There is a joke that I'm sure you know, about a man whose home town is flooding. He is in his house, and the water is up on the porch, when his neighbors leave in their john boat. They ask him to come along, and he says, "No, God will save me." The water continues to rise, and the man is up on his second story, when the National Guard come through in their boat. He refuses to leave with them, saying, "No, God will save me." The water gets even higher, and he's up on his roof when an Army helicopter comes by and tries to get him. He refuses, saying, "No, God will save me." The man drowns, and stands before God. He says, "God, where were You? I thought You would save me." God looks at the man and says, "I sent you two boats and a helicopter."
I want to do what the Lord wants me to do. I want to do His will. But what is His will? We have prayed, and read, and studied, and I feel we are doing the best thing we can. But I still wonder, are we stepping out on faith, cutting my income this way? Are we doing God's will, trusting in Him to provide financially for our family, and putting our focus on the other, much more important aspects of life? Or is God saying, "I sent you a good job. I have provided for you."
Has he sent me two boats and a helicopter?
I don't think I can know at this point. I am reminded of my very favorite poem, credited Anonymous, which I feel must have been written by someone facing a life-changing decision, and I think it describes where we stand right now:
FAITH
When you have come to the edge
of all the light you know
and are about to step off
into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing
one of two things will happen:
There will be something solid to stand on,
or you will be taught how to fly.
So, please pray for us, as we step off . . .
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy . . .
"And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:) to be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. " Luke 2:1-14
As we run to complete our gift buying and gift giving; as we become more and more rushed, and less and less peace-filled; as the hectic time of what Christmas has become sweeps us under its power, let's take this opportunity to remember Christmas as it was intended - a celebration of the greatest gift ever given, the greatest sacrifice ever made, by the loving Father of all, who sent his Son to be born of a woman and laid in a humble manger, to live on Earth, to die as propitiation for our sins, and to be raised again on the third day as final Victory over death and hell.
Glory to God in the highest!!!
Merry Christmas.
As we run to complete our gift buying and gift giving; as we become more and more rushed, and less and less peace-filled; as the hectic time of what Christmas has become sweeps us under its power, let's take this opportunity to remember Christmas as it was intended - a celebration of the greatest gift ever given, the greatest sacrifice ever made, by the loving Father of all, who sent his Son to be born of a woman and laid in a humble manger, to live on Earth, to die as propitiation for our sins, and to be raised again on the third day as final Victory over death and hell.
Glory to God in the highest!!!
Merry Christmas.
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Positively positive
I was looking back over the posts I have typed, and they seem kind of . . . negative. Which is a shame, really. I'm not a negative kind of person. I have a good life, and I know and can appreciate how really rare that is. So, in honor of that, I have decided to put forth the effort to be a positive person, with my children, at work and in life in general. Specifically, I will not yell at my children for infractions that do not deserve yelling (ditto for spanking), or waste my time griping about things I cannot change (and things that are not nearly as bad as they feel). I will not get into long conversations with pessimists. I will not panic about the fact that there are X number of days until Christmas, and I'm completely not ready. (Although, as an aside, there really are not many days at all until Christmas, and I'm really, really not ready . . .)
Philosophically, I wonder why it is so hard for us to focus on the positives, to count our blessings? Why am I not insanely grateful every day that God sent his son to endure horrible punishments that no parent would ever want their child to undergo, all for me (and you, too)? Why is it so much easier to focus on the deplenishing balance in the checking account than to focus on the smiles of my children, or their beautiful, angelic, sleeping faces? I mean, I've met my kids awake - I understand why they might not seem like such a blessing when they're up and fighting. :) But they truly are wonderful, particularly one-on-one . . . and asleep. My husband is fabulously wonderful - kind, gentle, caring, considerate. Why is it so much easier to focus on the fact that the man cannot cook without dirtying every single dish in the house, or that he simply does not have the ability to put dirty clothes in the hamper, than to focus on the fact that he cooked a wonderful meal for us, or that the reason his clothes are so dirty is because he works so hard to provide for us?
I think it's all part of our fallen nature - another aspect of our humanity. But I, for one, am going to put more effort into the other side; into having a "blue skies" attitude. I will make it a point to be positively positive.
I'll let you know how it goes. I'm not really holding out that much hope that I'll be succesful.
Philosophically, I wonder why it is so hard for us to focus on the positives, to count our blessings? Why am I not insanely grateful every day that God sent his son to endure horrible punishments that no parent would ever want their child to undergo, all for me (and you, too)? Why is it so much easier to focus on the deplenishing balance in the checking account than to focus on the smiles of my children, or their beautiful, angelic, sleeping faces? I mean, I've met my kids awake - I understand why they might not seem like such a blessing when they're up and fighting. :) But they truly are wonderful, particularly one-on-one . . . and asleep. My husband is fabulously wonderful - kind, gentle, caring, considerate. Why is it so much easier to focus on the fact that the man cannot cook without dirtying every single dish in the house, or that he simply does not have the ability to put dirty clothes in the hamper, than to focus on the fact that he cooked a wonderful meal for us, or that the reason his clothes are so dirty is because he works so hard to provide for us?
I think it's all part of our fallen nature - another aspect of our humanity. But I, for one, am going to put more effort into the other side; into having a "blue skies" attitude. I will make it a point to be positively positive.
I'll let you know how it goes. I'm not really holding out that much hope that I'll be succesful.
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