Housekeeping, Day 2: Just do it

(Note: I had this set to automatically post yesterday, and it didn't. I'm still learning!)

Now that we understand the importance of keeping a (relatively) neat and tidy home, I'd like to mention something that seems so very simple, but yet I missed it for so long.

The most efficient way to get your housework done, whether it be laundry, dishes, cleaning, organizing or deep cleaning, is to just do it.

Yep. Just do it. Seems simple, right? But I know that at one point in my life, I would spend an entire day trying to figure out the most efficient way to get laundry done, for example. I would rearrange how I have the laundry room set up. I would spend time making charts on my computer about what to wash on which days. I would Google various schedules and systems for getting things done, rather than just DOING them. I would procrastinate in every way possible.

When, in fact, the best way to make sure your housework is done is to do it. Just DO it. When you're tired, get something small done ANYWAY. When you're busy, set aside a few minutes to just get something done in the home. We know it's important, right? We know that our family and our home is one of our primary responsibilities as mothers/wives, right? Then give it some importance.

Now, life happens. And later this week, we'll talk a bit about priorities and what to do when life happens. I'm not saying drop EVERYTHING and scrub your floors. Let's be realistic, shall we? But sort and fold clothes during NCIS. Empty and reload the dishwasher while the soup for dinner is simmering. Find five minutes and do some small job that obviously needs to be done. Find a system that you like (and we'll talk about various systems tomorrow), and accomplish something.

I have a house full of kiddos most days. It feels like this place can go from acceptable to warranting a call to Hoarders or Clean House in a matter of minutes. I know how it feels to just be overwhelmed. But pick somewhere to start, and start there. Pick one surface, one drawer, one task and start it. When you're done, pick another one.

It seems simple, right? And maybe I'm the only person that struggles with procrastination and feeling overwhelmed, not knowing where to start. But I know that it helps me sometimes to just focus on something small, and get it done.

See you tomorrow!

Housekeeping, Day 1: Appreciate it

Okay, here goes my first ever blog series. And I chose something as exciting, as entertaining, as life-changing, as housework!! I suppose that says something about my life.

First, please understand that my home is not spotless. Right now, it desperately needs to be vacuumed. My windows don't sparkle from a distance. Every surface is not pristine. What I am talking about is a general feeling of orderliness. A neat bathroom. Bedrooms where you can see the floor, laundry that goes from dirty to clean, folded and put away in a reasonable amount of time. The ability to find last year's taxes with only a few hours notice. That kind of thing.


My first piece of advice about housework is, appreciate the importance. I confess, for a long time, I didn't understand the importance of an orderly home. My room, growing up, was always an absolute disaster. When Josh was a baby, our home was disgusting. I had postpartum depression, and I didn't do anything. I started to get better, I got pregnant with Blaine, we moved, and things didn't improve overly much. I put everything else first. I didn't think housework was important. I read the poems about dust going to sleep and cobwebs being quiet, and justified my mess by saying I had many small children around.

And in doing so, I was ignoring one of my primary responsibilities and callings from God. As a mother, keeping a safe, comfortable environment for my husband and children is my job. Whether a mom stays at home or works outside, her husband and children are to be her primary calling and responsibility. Not every mom is able to stay home, and not every mom would want to if she could. But the fact remains, the home is still the highest calling for a woman. The Proverbs 31 woman, held up as the standard for all women, worked outside the home (although whether she was one woman or did all these things at one time in her life is a debate for another post). But still, she provides food for her household, her household is clothed in scarlet, she watches over the ways of her household.

We as Christians are also called to be hospitable. Like it or not, we're supposed to have company over, ladies. There's no rule about how often or when or who should come to dinner (or even that says you have to serve food). But our homes should be welcoming. When people came into my house when the boys were little and there wasn't a clean surface upon which to sit -- and they couldn't get there anyway because they stuck to the floor the moment they walked in the door -- that wasn't hospitable. My home wasn't welcoming.

Lastly, you don't ever have to like cleaning toilets. You don't have to enjoy dusting, or fall into raptures at the thought of laundry or dishes. But keeping a relatively tidy home is important. And when I began to understand the importance, it made it easier to do the things necessary to keep it clean.

Stay tuned this week for more practical tips that have helped me as I figure this mess out!

Clean, clear, pristine

(NOTE: Housekeeping posts start tomorrow. It's Sunday, y'all. Take the Lord's day off!)

I braved the cold and snow today, after several days stuck up in the house. I don't generally like to be cold, even a little bit, so I usually just watch the snow. But I was going a bit stir crazy. I even contemplated reorganizing Nate's office area that he never uses, and maybe even walking into the younger boys' room to clean out toys!

In an effort to shake off those unwanted nesting-type urges, I bundled up and ventured into the snow.

I wanted to take some pictures, but I can't find my camera! One of the biggest snowstorms ever to hit our area, and my camera has disappeared somewhere. Typical.

So, here is my best effort to write some pictures of what I saw.

Picture little brown birds, perched on a picnic table covered in snow. Quick little movements, teeny little feet leaving the cutest bird tracks you ever saw as they hop around pecking up the seeds we put out yesterday.

Then, walk out farther into the yard with me. Picture a red metal swingset, well used and well loved by the many children who have played in our yard. Picture a huge pine limb, covered in heavy white snow, cracked and laying on top of the swing set. But the swing set held, and didn't even bend. I think God knew the boys would have missed it.

Walk down to the pond with me, will you? Picture an arched wooden bridge over an icy, snowy creek, covered in nearly two feet of pristine snow. Across the bridge, the pond is iced over and also covered in snow.

Then, turn your head and look down through the cow field. Picture black cows in their thick, fuzzy winter coats. See them standing in the field, usually a muddy mess but now -- just white and clean. See the limbs of the trees behind them, also white with snow, against a deep blue winter sky. No clouds in sight.

Then, like me, you can thank God for the trees, for the cows, for beautiful view and the weekend of stopping and doing nothing. And maybe, like me, you will even thank Him for the snow.

Housekeeping

I used to be a horrible housekeeper. Seriously, awful. My grandmother came once a week and cleaned my house. And that was back when I only had two children at home!

These days, I usually have five little ones at home. Josh (9), Blaine (8), Justin (6), Ayumi (1) and Cy-guy (1). The younger two are little ones I babysit. They are tons of fun -- but babies are work!

I'm not the world's best housekeeper, but I keep it pretty well picked up. The laundry is usually caught up, the floors have been vacuumed, the kitchen cleaned. It's not Martha Stewart's house by any means, but all in all -- company can drop by and it won't set me off.

There has been a lot of talk on various boards I post on about the best methods/systems for housekeeping.

Now, I am no expert. I have a looooong way to go. But in an effort to get out some thoughts on an issue that is obviously near and dear to the hearts of many Christian stay at home moms (and maybe to induce myself to blog more regularly), I'm going to blog about these issues this week!

My very first blog series! Wahoo.

Snow

Snow and I have a complicated relationship.

First off, I detest the cold. I'm a t-shirt and capris, sandals and ponytail kind of girl. The hotter, the better. Therefore, I do not go out in the snow.

However, I love to watch it fall from the sky. It makes everything look so clean and neat and white -- none of which are terms which could usually be used to describe my back yard. All of the broken plastic ride on toys, stacks of wood "forts" created by the boys, and piles of whatever that stuff is out next to Nate's shed all look pretty and white.

I love being forced to slow down, to enjoy one another's company, when we get a large snowfall. I love movies and cookies and hot chocolate with my boys. They are so wide open all the time, and beginning to have their own lives. Those times when we hang out as a family (or, "like a family," as they call it) are precious. Bad weather forces us to do that.

But then, in a few days, real life has to kick back up. And the snow makes me have tons of laundry. Lots of wet clothes and socks and lots of layers. And then the MUD. Snow is really water, in case you didn't know that. And when it melts into the ground, it makes mud. And then the mud gets on the shoes. Which come into my house on the feet. And then the mud falls off the shoes on the floor.

So, I will enjoy the 18 to 30 inches of snow which are about to fall from the sky for a few days. And when I stop enjoying it, I will just remember that May is only 85 days away.

Justin

Justin has a doctor's appt today. First, we are going to have the doc check out his ears. He had serious ear issues at birth that weren't followed up until he came to live with us when he was 20 months old. He had tubes and has improved, but he's been very loud recently. He's had the TV cranked up, and he keeps asking us to repeat ourselves. So, hearing checkup it is!

But more importantly, we are going to speak with the doctor regarding his recent behavior issues. Justin has been struggling a lot, and I have been struggling with him. He's been extremely defiant, terribly rude and basically evil to be around. Because he has RAD, I can't tell if there are other issues going on or if it just a complication of the RAD.

The last time we saw the doc, he gently suggested that perhaps it was time to consider some ADD/ADHD medications. I'm not sure whether or not I'm willing to go there.

Please pray for this appt. I'll keep you updated.

Church planting

Church planting is hard.

It is probably the hardest thing I've ever been a part of.

The thing is, no matter how often we say otherwise out loud, there is always this underlying conviction that when God calls you to do something, it's going to go well. It's going to be a success.

And there is absolutely no indication in Scripture that this is the case. God says everything will work out "to the good" of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. But God doesn't define good the same way we do. God defines good as more holy, more Christ-like. Less selfish, less prideful, less focused on the things of this world.

God will put us through whatever fires are necessary to purify us to look more like Him. That's His "good."

And as we walk down a difficult road, I am reminded that God called me here whether I want to be here or not. My attitude needs to be graceful obedience.

And on the other side of all this, I will look more like Him.

Giving of thanks

It's the time of year again where we focus on the things for which we are thankful. As I think I've said before, it seems a shame that we shove so much thankfulness into a few days and seem to not have any for the rest of the year. I want to be thankful at Thanksgiving - but I want to be thankful for the rest of the year, also.

We are having Thanksgiving at our house this year. It should be fun. We've done it here twice before. I have no idea who is coming -- it's not as large a group since it's not at my grandmother's house, but she just can't handle all that goes into hosting a meal for a big family anymore. She still does Christmas, but two meals in two months is just too much.

So, as I prepare the house and prepare the kitchen and prepare the food, I am praying that I find time to give thanks to the One who makes all of this possible, the One who provides all I need for every day, and not just the fourth Thursday in November.

Thank you, Lord.

Self Confidence

Blaine has no issues with self confidence. Much like his mother, he has a firm understanding of his self worth. I base this on the following conversation:

Blaine: Mom, is this how so-and-so happens? (Long, detailed, scientifically correct explanation)

Me: Yep, that's right. Good job.

Blaine: I'm a smart little boy.

Yes, he is, lol.

Oh, dear

I just did something really scary. I mean, incredibly terrifying.

I just completed the registration process for my college courses which start in January. Yep, you read that right -- I'm going back to school!!!

Oh, crud.

The first time I attempted college, I didn't really put forth my "full effort." In fact, the second semester, I'm relatively certain I never even met half of my professors. I was working full time, getting married and having a baby. I was a little busy. College just didn't seem like something that was all that important.

Fast forward ten years. My boys are 9, 8 & 6. I homeschool them, and I am at home all the time. I love my kids, but I truly feel like my brain is rotting. I told my husband that I felt like I needed to do something to improve myself, something to be more effective for the Lord and for my family. I was thinking something like taking piano lessons. Instead, Nate suggested I return to college.

So, after much thought, much prayer, and several sleepless nights during which I lay awake, staring up at the sky (through the roof, with my x-ray vision) wondering when on earth I was going to have time to do school, I applied. And was accepted. And registered for classes. And figured out how to PAY for the classes. And now, I am officially a Liberty University Online student.

Oh, crud.

Growing up

Justin is very concerned about growing up. It's something that this little 6 year old thinks about quite a bit.

This morning, he told me he would like a snack. Then, he said, "I think I need to learn to get my own food. I don't want to act like a little baby for the rest of my life."

I guess it's never too soon to plan for the future . . .

M2M scavenger hunt answers

What an awesome idea!!!

In case you're reading this and have no idea what I'm talking about, check out this post over at A Preacher's Wife!! All those PWs out there, come play along with me!

1. First Name. Dana

2. State and Country of Residence. Virginia, USA

3. Husband’s Ministry Title. Pastor. Only pastor. Solo pastor. The preacher. Chief cook and bottle washer. Dude who people call when freaking out.

4. Length of time in Current Ministry Location. My darling husband has been pastoring at FGCF since its inception, practically. The church as an entity existed for about six months before they called him, officially, in March of 2008. So, about 19 months or so. (Has it been that long?!?!? Or that short?!?!?)

5. Children? If yes, give gender and ages. I have three rambunctious, wide open little boys. Josh is 9, Blaine is 8, and Justin is 6.

6. Number of unique homes in which you’ve lived during your marriage. Just two. We've lived in our current home for about 8 years. We are an independent, nondemoninational church that is planning to stay in our local area. So, I'm hoping to live here until the Lord takes me home. I HATE packing!!!

7. Cook Sunday lunch or eat out? If I had my druthers, I'd eat out nearly every meal. But my wallet and my waistline do not permit such, so we generally eat in. I cook most of the meals, but my husband is a fabulous cook when he's in the mood!!!

8. Typically on time for Sunday School or not? Always on time. I live across the road from the building where we meet, and walk to church. I have to set up the music stuff, so we're always there 30 minutes before church should start. And then, church starts 10 minutes late.

9. Favorite TV Show. NCIS.

10. Something you watch/like/do that you would never tell the church people. My church people know me pretty well! But I don't make an issue of the fact that I read almost all fantasy novels. And I really enjoy Dan Brown novels.

11. Most annoying church-related pet peeve. People who church hop looking for a children/youth ministry that they love, but refuse to volunteer or work to grow one.

12. One thing you need to throw away but can’t bring yourself to do it. A sweater I absolutely love. It came completely unseamed up one side, and is a material that would be difficult to resew. So, it's just up on a shelf.

13. The one food you can not live without. Just one?!?! I love food! But probably buffalo wings.

14. Parsonage or have your own home? My own home. I actually live in the home my father grew up in, about half a mile from my parents. Nate's family all lives pretty close, too.

15. Freak when the doorbell rings or always ready for a visitor? I used to freak because my house was such a mess. My house is not any cleaner, but I'm more accepting of it, and freak a bit less.


:)

Blessings & the work they require

Our church is growing! Yay!! Last week, there were 12 people in our children's church room during the sermon. I was one of them and two of them were teenage helpers, but that still means there were 9 kids! YAY!! And we had several regulars missing.

This is without a doubt a blessing. We have been reaching out to the community with events and cards and letters for the past 18 months, and they are starting to respond.

But we meet in a teeny, tiny little house. It's a two bedroom, one bath house with an open style living/dining room/kitchen that we use as the sanctuary. The bedrooms are small -- 10x12, maybe. So, when you have nine kids plus in a room, it's crowded!! And LOUD!!

Without a doubt, this growth is a blessing. But it's going to require hard work, and without a doubt a new facility. As a book I once read says, you can't create a wave. But it's up to us, in the church, to ride the waves that God creates. We're on a wave right now, and we need to make some changes so that we ride it, instead of having it crash over our heads!!

Children's Ministry

We are just finishing up a fabulous week of VBS at our church. It has truly been a wonderful time of building community, building family and teaching little ones about Jesus. I think they all had fun, and I hope they all got a bit closer to that moment when they answer Jesus' knock on the door of their hearts.

VBS is very special to me, as a lifelong Christian. I loved VBS as a child, and started helping when I was about 12. I was at an awkward age in my church -- quite a large group of kids three to five years younger than me, and a fair group of kids five or so years older than me, but pretty much just me in the middle. Since I knew a lot about little children thanks to my big extended family and my mother's babysitting, I started out working in the nursery at about 12. I taught my first class at 15, and have been teaching ever since.

In my area, quite a few churches are tending away from Vacation Bible School. It is too much work, too much effort, too hard on small churches with few volunteers. Although no one seems to ever say it, the emotion seems to be, "After all, it's only kids who come."

This is a MEGA pet peeve of mine. Maybe it's because I have always worked with kids and love kids, but I think the children's ministry is one of the, if not the, most important ministries in a church. First of all, if you attract the kids, the parents and oftentimes the grandparents will come. Second, statistics show that most people who are saved are saved as a child or a teen. Third, Jesus himself seemed to appreciate children for their honest, simple faith and open hearts in Luke 18:16.

If Jesus himself rebuked his disciples for not encouraging the children to come to Him, who are we to do any different? Why wouldn't we want to attract His littlest children to Him? Why wouldn't we do everything in our power to have a vital and growing children's ministry?

Awesome realization

My children are currently working on memorizing the Lord's prayer for their Bible work for school. As an aside, my husband is highly irritated by that name, since Jesus would never have needed to pray this prayer, but I digress.

As part of our Bible memory, I try very hard to relate the verses to things my children can understand. It's not enough that they memorize the words -- they need to understand them, to truly get what God was trying to say.

During my explanation of this prayer, it struck me how many times I said things like, "just like your daddy does." Now, my husband is not God. Trust me, I am not able to confuse the two. If ANYONE knows his faults and foibles, I do.

But he truly models that fatherly relationship to our children, in a way I can't even describe. The boys have no doubt that God loves them and wants to spend time with them. After all, He is their Father, and as far as they know, all fathers spend time with their children. All fathers teach their children. All fathers love their children, at times discipline their children, and have their children's very best interests at heart every second of every day. Because, after all, their daddy does.

I love my husband for many reasons, far too numerous to list in a blog post. But today I realize that one of reason I love him more and more each day is his shining example and love for our children. He is not a perfect father -- but he does his best at every moment to point the way to the One who is.

Yay, a Carnival!!!!!!

Okay, what homeschooling mother couldn't use some tips on getting more organized?!?! Heck, what mom couldn't handle being more organized whether you homeschool or not?

If you could use a tip or two, check out the Organized Homeschool Carnival posted by Heart of the Matter, an awesome online homeschooling magazine!

Check it out!

A Kool-Aid Mom

Throughout my nine years, so far, of being a mother, I've discovered that there are lots of different kinds of moms. No one way is right, of course, but each mom is created by God with a different parenting style. There are extremes that are problematic, but for the most part, mothers fall along a contiuum. Some moms are very strict, very scheduled, very organized. Other moms are very laid back, completely go-with-the-flow, and thrive on chaos. Most moms fall somewhere in the middle.

I am currently babysitting a beautiful little six week old girl and a handsome two year old little boy. These two children come from very different families, and have very different types of moms. The little girl's mom is young, a first-time mom, who is very open to advice and extremely flexible. The little boy's mom is not as young, also a first-time mom, who is happy to hear advice but has a certain way she wants things done. I have no problem with either style, as far as the babysitter, but exposure to their disparate approaches has caused me to examine my parenting style.

I came to the conclusion that I'm a Kool Aid mom. Let me explain. Some moms are all about organic food and organic cleansing products; they bake their own bread from the wheat they ground themselves, and then clean the counter with vinegar and baking soda. I'm more into Scrubbing Bubbles and Sunbeam. Easier, but still effective - like Kool Aid versus home-pressed apple juice. Some moms keep their children very scheduled, with lots of sports and clubs. I like my kids to have time to run and play in the yard and just hang out. Picture summer time, playing in the sprinkler and enjoying a tall glass of red Kool Aid. Some moms hover over their children, staying very close as they play outside. They are protective and concerned. I tend to shove my kids out the door as soon as the chance of frostbite has passed over, and tell them not to come back inside. I have been known to lock them out on the porch, from time to time. I don't worry about stains, serving them only water. I give 'em all the grape Kool Aid they can drink.

See? I'm a Kool Aid mom.

Cute

My Justin stories tend to be active in nature. He is a very . . . active little boy. I am far more likely to find him standing on the back of the sofa than sitting on it. But every once in a while, he does something really cute. Today was one of those Once in a while's.

I am babysitting a precious little baby girl who is 6 weeks old. Justin said something about having her get up and walk. I told him, "Baby A can't walk, sweetheart."

He looked at me with brown eyes wide open and said, "We need to pray for her, so she will feel better and walk."

Cute, huh?

Good Little Christian Family

Okay, I am officially a Christian. I mean, I was saved at the age of 9, but recently I've been feeling a little left out of Christian culture. See, despite the fact that my husband is a pastor --- we had not seen Fireproof. We still haven't seen Facing The Giants, although we've owned it for months.

First off, the movie was pretty good. I thought it was kind of predictable, since I knew how it was going to end. That could have been because we saw it so late, though. The couple fighting reminded me of some people we knew, and I think they might be able to get something out of this movie. It likely would have meant a lot more if Nate and I were in a struggling or new relationship. It's certainly a movie that a newly married Christian couple or a couple that is having issues could benefit from.

However, the hype around this made me think of the Christian sub-culture. We seem to be a sub-culture of fads, of movements. Doesn't it seem to you like things go in waves, through all the churches, and you aren't really considered part of the Christian "in" crowd unless you've read/seen/done whatever it is? Like the Purpose Driven Life. I'm not anti-Purpose Driven Life, really, but the hype got old. FAST.

It makes me wonder how many of the marketing people, advertising people, publishing people are truly Christians who want to impact the world for God's goodness.

Or, is it more likely that they know by stamping "Christian" on a product, it has a guaranteed audience? Is it about Jesus? Or is it about money?

Help out a great cause!

I want to let everyone know about an opportunity to help out a great family. My good online friend, Gillian, and her husband Sergei are adding a beautiful little girl to the three girls the Lord has already blessed them with.

Their youngest biological daughter, Polly, has Downs Syndrome. They were missionaries in the Ukraine until Polly was born, when they returned home to give her the advantage of therapies only available here in the US.

Sergei and Gillian are now adopting another little girl from the Ukraine who also has Downs Syndrome. You can see her beautiful face on the button to the right.

International adoption is extremely expensive, and this family is running a fundraiser on their blog. For every $10 you contribute, you will receive an entry into a drawing for a really cool camera! Check it out here!!

If you can't contribute financially, could you please pray for them?

Thanks,