With My Hands Full

Housekeeping, Day 2: Just do it

2010-02-10T09:30:00.002-05:00

(Note: I had this set to automatically post yesterday, and it didn't. I'm still learning!)

Now that we understand the importance of keeping a (relatively) neat and tidy home, I'd like to mention something that seems so very simple, but yet I missed it for so long.

The most efficient way to get your housework done, whether it be laundry, dishes, cleaning, organizing or deep cleaning, is to just do it.

Yep. Just do it. Seems simple, right? But I know that at one point in my life, I would spend an entire day trying to figure out the most efficient way to get laundry done, for example. I would rearrange how I have the laundry room set up. I would spend time making charts on my computer about what to wash on which days. I would Google various schedules and systems for getting things done, rather than just DOING them. I would procrastinate in every way possible.

When, in fact, the best way to make sure your housework is done is to do it. Just DO it. When you're tired, get something small done ANYWAY. When you're busy, set aside a few minutes to just get something done in the home. We know it's important, right? We know that our family and our home is one of our primary responsibilities as mothers/wives, right? Then give it some importance.

Now, life happens. And later this week, we'll talk a bit about priorities and what to do when life happens. I'm not saying drop EVERYTHING and scrub your floors. Let's be realistic, shall we? But sort and fold clothes during NCIS. Empty and reload the dishwasher while the soup for dinner is simmering. Find five minutes and do some small job that obviously needs to be done. Find a system that you like (and we'll talk about various systems tomorrow), and accomplish something.

I have a house full of kiddos most days. It feels like this place can go from acceptable to warranting a call to Hoarders or Clean House in a matter of minutes. I know how it feels to just be overwhelmed. But pick somewhere to start, and start there. Pick one surface, one drawer, one task and start it. When you're done, pick another one.

It seems simple, right? And maybe I'm the only person that struggles with procrastination and feeling overwhelmed, not knowing where to start. But I know that it helps me sometimes to just focus on something small, and get it done.

See you tomorrow!

Housekeeping, Day 1: Appreciate it

2010-02-08T10:39:00.003-05:00

Okay, here goes my first ever blog series. And I chose something as exciting, as entertaining, as life-changing, as housework!! I suppose that says something about my life.

First, please understand that my home is not spotless. Right now, it desperately needs to be vacuumed. My windows don't sparkle from a distance. Every surface is not pristine. What I am talking about is a general feeling of orderliness. A neat bathroom. Bedrooms where you can see the floor, laundry that goes from dirty to clean, folded and put away in a reasonable amount of time. The ability to find last year's taxes with only a few hours notice. That kind of thing.

My first piece of advice about housework is, appreciate the importance. I confess, for a long time, I didn't understand the importance of an orderly home. My room, growing up, was always an absolute disaster. When Josh was a baby, our home was disgusting. I had postpartum depression, and I didn't do anything. I started to get better, I got pregnant with Blaine, we moved, and things didn't improve overly much. I put everything else first. I didn't think housework was important. I read the poems about dust going to sleep and cobwebs being quiet, and justified my mess by saying I had many small children around.

And in doing so, I was ignoring one of my primary responsibilities and callings from God. As a mother, keeping a safe, comfortable environment for my husband and children is my job. Whether a mom stays at home or works outside, her husband and children are to be her primary calling and responsibility. Not every mom is able to stay home, and not every mom would want to if she could. But the fact remains, the home is still the highest calling for a woman. The Proverbs 31 woman, held up as the standard for all women, worked outside the home (although whether she was one woman or did all these things at one time in her life is a debate for another post). But still, she provides food for her household, her household is clothed in scarlet, she watches over the ways of her household.

We as Christians are also called to be hospitable. Like it or not, we're supposed to have company over, ladies. There's no rule about how often or when or who should come to dinner (or even that says you have to serve food). But our homes should be welcoming. When people came into my house when the boys were little and there wasn't a clean surface upon which to sit -- and they couldn't get there anyway because they stuck to the floor the moment they walked in the door -- that wasn't hospitable. My home wasn't welcoming.

Lastly, you don't ever have to like cleaning toilets. You don't have to enjoy dusting, or fall into raptures at the thought of laundry or dishes. But keeping a relatively tidy home is important. And when I began to understand the importance, it made it easier to do the things necessary to keep it clean.

Stay tuned this week for more practical tips that have helped me as I figure this mess out!

Clean, clear, pristine

2010-02-07T14:46:00.002-05:00

(NOTE: Housekeeping posts start tomorrow. It's Sunday, y'all. Take the Lord's day off!)

I braved the cold and snow today, after several days stuck up in the house. I don't generally like to be cold, even a little bit, so I usually just watch the snow. But I was going a bit stir crazy. I even contemplated reorganizing Nate's office area that he never uses, and maybe even walking into the younger boys' room to clean out toys!

In an effort to shake off those unwanted nesting-type urges, I bundled up and ventured into the snow.

I wanted to take some pictures, but I can't find my camera! One of the biggest snowstorms ever to hit our area, and my camera has disappeared somewhere. Typical.

So, here is my best effort to write some pictures of what I saw.

Picture little brown birds, perched on a picnic table covered in snow. Quick little movements, teeny little feet leaving the cutest bird tracks you ever saw as they hop around pecking up the seeds we put out yesterday.

Then, walk out farther into the yard with me. Picture a red metal swingset, well used and well loved by the many children who have played in our yard. Picture a huge pine limb, covered in heavy white snow, cracked and laying on top of the swing set. But the swing set held, and didn't even bend. I think God knew the boys would have missed it.

Walk down to the pond with me, will you? Picture an arched wooden bridge over an icy, snowy creek, covered in nearly two feet of pristine snow. Across the bridge, the pond is iced over and also covered in snow.

Then, turn your head and look down through the cow field. Picture black cows in their thick, fuzzy winter coats. See them standing in the field, usually a muddy mess but now -- just white and clean. See the limbs of the trees behind them, also white with snow, against a deep blue winter sky. No clouds in sight.

Then, like me, you can thank God for the trees, for the cows, for beautiful view and the weekend of stopping and doing nothing. And maybe, like me, you will even thank Him for the snow.

Housekeeping

2010-02-06T21:48:00.003-05:00

I used to be a horrible housekeeper. Seriously, awful. My grandmother came once a week and cleaned my house. And that was back when I only had two children at home!

These days, I usually have five little ones at home. Josh (9), Blaine (8), Justin (6), Ayumi (1) and Cy-guy (1). The younger two are little ones I babysit. They are tons of fun -- but babies are work!

I'm not the world's best housekeeper, but I keep it pretty well picked up. The laundry is usually caught up, the floors have been vacuumed, the kitchen cleaned. It's not Martha Stewart's house by any means, but all in all -- company can drop by and it won't set me off.

There has been a lot of talk on various boards I post on about the best methods/systems for housekeeping.

Now, I am no expert. I have a looooong way to go. But in an effort to get out some thoughts on an issue that is obviously near and dear to the hearts of many Christian stay at home moms (and maybe to induce myself to blog more regularly), I'm going to blog about these issues this week!

My very first blog series! Wahoo.

Snow

2010-02-04T19:32:00.002-05:00

Snow and I have a complicated relationship.

First off, I detest the cold. I'm a t-shirt and capris, sandals and ponytail kind of girl. The hotter, the better. Therefore, I do not go out in the snow.

However, I love to watch it fall from the sky. It makes everything look so clean and neat and white -- none of which are terms which could usually be used to describe my back yard. All of the broken plastic ride on toys, stacks of wood "forts" created by the boys, and piles of whatever that stuff is out next to Nate's shed all look pretty and white.

I love being forced to slow down, to enjoy one another's company, when we get a large snowfall. I love movies and cookies and hot chocolate with my boys. They are so wide open all the time, and beginning to have their own lives. Those times when we hang out as a family (or, "like a family," as they call it) are precious. Bad weather forces us to do that.

But then, in a few days, real life has to kick back up. And the snow makes me have tons of laundry. Lots of wet clothes and socks and lots of layers. And then the MUD. Snow is really water, in case you didn't know that. And when it melts into the ground, it makes mud. And then the mud gets on the shoes. Which come into my house on the feet. And then the mud falls off the shoes on the floor.

So, I will enjoy the 18 to 30 inches of snow which are about to fall from the sky for a few days. And when I stop enjoying it, I will just remember that May is only 85 days away.

Justin

2010-02-03T14:33:00.003-05:00

Justin has a doctor's appt today. First, we are going to have the doc check out his ears. He had serious ear issues at birth that weren't followed up until he came to live with us when he was 20 months old. He had tubes and has improved, but he's been very loud recently. He's had the TV cranked up, and he keeps asking us to repeat ourselves. So, hearing checkup it is!

But more importantly, we are going to speak with the doctor regarding his recent behavior issues. Justin has been struggling a lot, and I have been struggling with him. He's been extremely defiant, terribly rude and basically evil to be around. Because he has RAD, I can't tell if there are other issues going on or if it just a complication of the RAD.

The last time we saw the doc, he gently suggested that perhaps it was time to consider some ADD/ADHD medications. I'm not sure whether or not I'm willing to go there.

Please pray for this appt. I'll keep you updated.

Church planting

2010-01-27T10:46:00.002-05:00

Church planting is hard.

It is probably the hardest thing I've ever been a part of.

The thing is, no matter how often we say otherwise out loud, there is always this underlying conviction that when God calls you to do something, it's going to go well. It's going to be a success.

And there is absolutely no indication in Scripture that this is the case. God says everything will work out "to the good" of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. But God doesn't define good the same way we do. God defines good as more holy, more Christ-like. Less selfish, less prideful, less focused on the things of this world.

God will put us through whatever fires are necessary to purify us to look more like Him. That's His "good."

And as we walk down a difficult road, I am reminded that God called me here whether I want to be here or not. My attitude needs to be graceful obedience.

And on the other side of all this, I will look more like Him.

Giving of thanks

2009-11-23T09:26:00.002-05:00

It's the time of year again where we focus on the things for which we are thankful. As I think I've said before, it seems a shame that we shove so much thankfulness into a few days and seem to not have any for the rest of the year. I want to be thankful at Thanksgiving - but I want to be thankful for the rest of the year, also.

We are having Thanksgiving at our house this year. It should be fun. We've done it here twice before. I have no idea who is coming -- it's not as large a group since it's not at my grandmother's house, but she just can't handle all that goes into hosting a meal for a big family anymore. She still does Christmas, but two meals in two months is just too much.

So, as I prepare the house and prepare the kitchen and prepare the food, I am praying that I find time to give thanks to the One who makes all of this possible, the One who provides all I need for every day, and not just the fourth Thursday in November.

Thank you, Lord.

Self Confidence

2009-11-20T08:10:00.002-05:00

Blaine has no issues with self confidence. Much like his mother, he has a firm understanding of his self worth. I base this on the following conversation:

Blaine: Mom, is this how so-and-so happens? (Long, detailed, scientifically correct explanation)

Me: Yep, that's right. Good job.

Blaine: I'm a smart little boy.

Yes, he is, lol.

Oh, dear

2009-11-12T10:46:00.002-05:00

I just did something really scary. I mean, incredibly terrifying.

I just completed the registration process for my college courses which start in January. Yep, you read that right -- I'm going back to school!!!

Oh, crud.

The first time I attempted college, I didn't really put forth my "full effort." In fact, the second semester, I'm relatively certain I never even met half of my professors. I was working full time, getting married and having a baby. I was a little busy. College just didn't seem like something that was all that important.

Fast forward ten years. My boys are 9, 8 & 6. I homeschool them, and I am at home all the time. I love my kids, but I truly feel like my brain is rotting. I told my husband that I felt like I needed to do something to improve myself, something to be more effective for the Lord and for my family. I was thinking something like taking piano lessons. Instead, Nate suggested I return to college.

So, after much thought, much prayer, and several sleepless nights during which I lay awake, staring up at the sky (through the roof, with my x-ray vision) wondering when on earth I was going to have time to do school, I applied. And was accepted. And registered for classes. And figured out how to PAY for the classes. And now, I am officially a Liberty University Online student.

Oh, crud.

Growing up

2009-11-10T11:15:00.000-05:00

Justin is very concerned about growing up. It's something that this little 6 year old thinks about quite a bit.

This morning, he told me he would like a snack. Then, he said, "I think I need to learn to get my own food. I don't want to act like a little baby for the rest of my life."

I guess it's never too soon to plan for the future . . .

M2M scavenger hunt answers

2009-11-04T11:17:00.002-05:00

What an awesome idea!!!

In case you're reading this and have no idea what I'm talking about, check out this post over at A Preacher's Wife!! All those PWs out there, come play along with me!

1. First Name. Dana

2. State and Country of Residence. Virginia, USA

3. Husband’s Ministry Title. Pastor. Only pastor. Solo pastor. The preacher. Chief cook and bottle washer. Dude who people call when freaking out.

4. Length of time in Current Ministry Location. My darling husband has been pastoring at FGCF since its inception, practically. The church as an entity existed for about six months before they called him, officially, in March of 2008. So, about 19 months or so. (Has it been that long?!?!? Or that short?!?!?)

5. Children? If yes, give gender and ages. I have three rambunctious, wide open little boys. Josh is 9, Blaine is 8, and Justin is 6.

6. Number of unique homes in which you’ve lived during your marriage. Just two. We've lived in our current home for about 8 years. We are an independent, nondemoninational church that is planning to stay in our local area. So, I'm hoping to live here until the Lord takes me home. I HATE packing!!!

7. Cook Sunday lunch or eat out? If I had my druthers, I'd eat out nearly every meal. But my wallet and my waistline do not permit such, so we generally eat in. I cook most of the meals, but my husband is a fabulous cook when he's in the mood!!!

8. Typically on time for Sunday School or not? Always on time. I live across the road from the building where we meet, and walk to church. I have to set up the music stuff, so we're always there 30 minutes before church should start. And then, church starts 10 minutes late.

9. Favorite TV Show. NCIS.

10. Something you watch/like/do that you would never tell the church people. My church people know me pretty well! But I don't make an issue of the fact that I read almost all fantasy novels. And I really enjoy Dan Brown novels.

11. Most annoying church-related pet peeve. People who church hop looking for a children/youth ministry that they love, but refuse to volunteer or work to grow one.

12. One thing you need to throw away but can’t bring yourself to do it. A sweater I absolutely love. It came completely unseamed up one side, and is a material that would be difficult to resew. So, it's just up on a shelf.

13. The one food you can not live without. Just one?!?! I love food! But probably buffalo wings.

14. Parsonage or have your own home? My own home. I actually live in the home my father grew up in, about half a mile from my parents. Nate's family all lives pretty close, too.

15. Freak when the doorbell rings or always ready for a visitor? I used to freak because my house was such a mess. My house is not any cleaner, but I'm more accepting of it, and freak a bit less.

:)

Blessings & the work they require

2009-11-04T11:01:00.002-05:00

Our church is growing! Yay!! Last week, there were 12 people in our children's church room during the sermon. I was one of them and two of them were teenage helpers, but that still means there were 9 kids! YAY!! And we had several regulars missing.

This is without a doubt a blessing. We have been reaching out to the community with events and cards and letters for the past 18 months, and they are starting to respond.

But we meet in a teeny, tiny little house. It's a two bedroom, one bath house with an open style living/dining room/kitchen that we use as the sanctuary. The bedrooms are small -- 10x12, maybe. So, when you have nine kids plus in a room, it's crowded!! And LOUD!!

Without a doubt, this growth is a blessing. But it's going to require hard work, and without a doubt a new facility. As a book I once read says, you can't create a wave. But it's up to us, in the church, to ride the waves that God creates. We're on a wave right now, and we need to make some changes so that we ride it, instead of having it crash over our heads!!

Children's Ministry

2009-08-07T21:37:00.003-04:00

We are just finishing up a fabulous week of VBS at our church. It has truly been a wonderful time of building community, building family and teaching little ones about Jesus. I think they all had fun, and I hope they all got a bit closer to that moment when they answer Jesus' knock on the door of their hearts.

VBS is very special to me, as a lifelong Christian. I loved VBS as a child, and started helping when I was about 12. I was at an awkward age in my church -- quite a large group of kids three to five years younger than me, and a fair group of kids five or so years older than me, but pretty much just me in the middle. Since I knew a lot about little children thanks to my big extended family and my mother's babysitting, I started out working in the nursery at about 12. I taught my first class at 15, and have been teaching ever since.

In my area, quite a few churches are tending away from Vacation Bible School. It is too much work, too much effort, too hard on small churches with few volunteers. Although no one seems to ever say it, the emotion seems to be, "After all, it's only kids who come."

This is a MEGA pet peeve of mine. Maybe it's because I have always worked with kids and love kids, but I think the children's ministry is one of the, if not the, most important ministries in a church. First of all, if you attract the kids, the parents and oftentimes the grandparents will come. Second, statistics show that most people who are saved are saved as a child or a teen. Third, Jesus himself seemed to appreciate children for their honest, simple faith and open hearts in Luke 18:16.

If Jesus himself rebuked his disciples for not encouraging the children to come to Him, who are we to do any different? Why wouldn't we want to attract His littlest children to Him? Why wouldn't we do everything in our power to have a vital and growing children's ministry?

Awesome realization

2009-03-31T10:15:00.004-04:00

My children are currently working on memorizing the Lord's prayer for their Bible work for school. As an aside, my husband is highly irritated by that name, since Jesus would never have needed to pray this prayer, but I digress.

As part of our Bible memory, I try very hard to relate the verses to things my children can understand. It's not enough that they memorize the words -- they need to understand them, to truly get what God was trying to say.

During my explanation of this prayer, it struck me how many times I said things like, "just like your daddy does." Now, my husband is not God. Trust me, I am not able to confuse the two. If ANYONE knows his faults and foibles, I do.

But he truly models that fatherly relationship to our children, in a way I can't even describe. The boys have no doubt that God loves them and wants to spend time with them. After all, He is their Father, and as far as they know, all fathers spend time with their children. All fathers teach their children. All fathers love their children, at times discipline their children, and have their children's very best interests at heart every second of every day. Because, after all, their daddy does.

I love my husband for many reasons, far too numerous to list in a blog post. But today I realize that one of reason I love him more and more each day is his shining example and love for our children. He is not a perfect father -- but he does his best at every moment to point the way to the One who is.

Yay, a Carnival!!!!!!

2009-03-09T10:26:00.002-04:00

Okay, what homeschooling mother couldn't use some tips on getting more organized?!?! Heck, what mom couldn't handle being more organized whether you homeschool or not?

If you could use a tip or two, check out the Organized Homeschool Carnival posted by Heart of the Matter, an awesome online homeschooling magazine!

Check it out!

A Kool-Aid Mom

2009-03-07T12:53:00.003-05:00

Throughout my nine years, so far, of being a mother, I've discovered that there are lots of different kinds of moms. No one way is right, of course, but each mom is created by God with a different parenting style. There are extremes that are problematic, but for the most part, mothers fall along a contiuum. Some moms are very strict, very scheduled, very organized. Other moms are very laid back, completely go-with-the-flow, and thrive on chaos. Most moms fall somewhere in the middle.

I am currently babysitting a beautiful little six week old girl and a handsome two year old little boy. These two children come from very different families, and have very different types of moms. The little girl's mom is young, a first-time mom, who is very open to advice and extremely flexible. The little boy's mom is not as young, also a first-time mom, who is happy to hear advice but has a certain way she wants things done. I have no problem with either style, as far as the babysitter, but exposure to their disparate approaches has caused me to examine my parenting style.

I came to the conclusion that I'm a Kool Aid mom. Let me explain. Some moms are all about organic food and organic cleansing products; they bake their own bread from the wheat they ground themselves, and then clean the counter with vinegar and baking soda. I'm more into Scrubbing Bubbles and Sunbeam. Easier, but still effective - like Kool Aid versus home-pressed apple juice. Some moms keep their children very scheduled, with lots of sports and clubs. I like my kids to have time to run and play in the yard and just hang out. Picture summer time, playing in the sprinkler and enjoying a tall glass of red Kool Aid. Some moms hover over their children, staying very close as they play outside. They are protective and concerned. I tend to shove my kids out the door as soon as the chance of frostbite has passed over, and tell them not to come back inside. I have been known to lock them out on the porch, from time to time. I don't worry about stains, serving them only water. I give 'em all the grape Kool Aid they can drink.

See? I'm a Kool Aid mom.

Cute

2009-03-04T15:21:00.003-05:00

My Justin stories tend to be active in nature. He is a very . . . active little boy. I am far more likely to find him standing on the back of the sofa than sitting on it. But every once in a while, he does something really cute. Today was one of those Once in a while's.

I am babysitting a precious little baby girl who is 6 weeks old. Justin said something about having her get up and walk. I told him, "Baby A can't walk, sweetheart."

He looked at me with brown eyes wide open and said, "We need to pray for her, so she will feel better and walk."

Cute, huh?

Good Little Christian Family

2009-03-02T11:01:00.002-05:00

Okay, I am officially a Christian. I mean, I was saved at the age of 9, but recently I've been feeling a little left out of Christian culture. See, despite the fact that my husband is a pastor --- we had not seen Fireproof. We still haven't seen Facing The Giants, although we've owned it for months.

First off, the movie was pretty good. I thought it was kind of predictable, since I knew how it was going to end. That could have been because we saw it so late, though. The couple fighting reminded me of some people we knew, and I think they might be able to get something out of this movie. It likely would have meant a lot more if Nate and I were in a struggling or new relationship. It's certainly a movie that a newly married Christian couple or a couple that is having issues could benefit from.

However, the hype around this made me think of the Christian sub-culture. We seem to be a sub-culture of fads, of movements. Doesn't it seem to you like things go in waves, through all the churches, and you aren't really considered part of the Christian "in" crowd unless you've read/seen/done whatever it is? Like the Purpose Driven Life. I'm not anti-Purpose Driven Life, really, but the hype got old. FAST.

It makes me wonder how many of the marketing people, advertising people, publishing people are truly Christians who want to impact the world for God's goodness.

Or, is it more likely that they know by stamping "Christian" on a product, it has a guaranteed audience? Is it about Jesus? Or is it about money?

Help out a great cause!

2009-02-26T17:18:00.002-05:00

I want to let everyone know about an opportunity to help out a great family. My good online friend, Gillian, and her husband Sergei are adding a beautiful little girl to the three girls the Lord has already blessed them with.

Their youngest biological daughter, Polly, has Downs Syndrome. They were missionaries in the Ukraine until Polly was born, when they returned home to give her the advantage of therapies only available here in the US.

Sergei and Gillian are now adopting another little girl from the Ukraine who also has Downs Syndrome. You can see her beautiful face on the button to the right.

International adoption is extremely expensive, and this family is running a fundraiser on their blog. For every $10 you contribute, you will receive an entry into a drawing for a really cool camera! Check it out here!!

If you can't contribute financially, could you please pray for them?

Thanks,

Happy Birthday, Joshua!!

2009-02-25T10:05:00.002-05:00

Today is Joshua's 9th birthday. I have to confess, I feel a little shocked. I distinctly recall bringing him home from the hospital just a little bit ago. And now he's so grown up!! If I could get him to turn off the Star Wars Wii game and sit with me for a moment, I might say something like this:

Dear Josh,

Hello, big boy. I can't believe you are nine years old already! The time is just flying by so very quickly. You are so grown up -- so mature, and intelligent. I'm very proud of you, and so is your daddy. Neither of us could have imagined how very much we love you.

We love your caring spirit, how great you are with little ones, and your sense of humor. I love that you asked permission to start calling me Mom instead of Mama, because you didn't want to hurt my feelings. And I love that you invited almost everyone we know to your birthday party, including kids you don't particularly like, just so nobody felt bad.

Joshua Martin, your Daddy and I love you more than you will ever know. Happy Birthday, sonshine.

Love,

Mama

Update on Homeschooling

2009-02-24T09:26:00.003-05:00

Since I dropped off the radar map for such a long time, I thought it may be time for a homeschooling update. We've been at it for three years now, and it seems to be working pretty well for us. Some days are better than others, obviously. I think public school teachers would say the same thing about their classrooms. Some days, the children are obedient and respectful and do all their work without complaining. However, on days that end in "y," there is at least one time where a child whines about his work. I ignore it, and we push on!

The interesting thing for me has been Justin. He is technically sort of working on a kindergarten curriculum this year. His birthday is four days before the grade cutoff for public school, and with his emotional issues, I think it's better for him to be the oldest in his "grade" rather than the youngest.

He really likes school, though. I didn't expect that, for some reason. I expected it to really be a struggle. But he seems to enjoy it, and asks to do school. I'm going to really focus on his schooling over the summer. I don't know if he'll start 1st grade next fall or if we'll still be in kindergarten. But the best part of homeschooling is, it doesn't matter!! He can be where he is, and I can meet him there.

Politics, Religion and Her

2009-02-22T08:00:00.001-05:00

There's an old country song by a singer named Sammy Kershaw called "Politics, Religion and Her." The song talks about two old buddies who meet up, and one of them is telling the other a list of things they can't talk about. The chorus of the song says, "Politics can start a fight, Religion's hard to know who's right, And one more topic I won't touch, That one's her -- it hurts too much."

I don't have a "her" in my life, as I've never been in a real relationship that ended badly. And since I am involved in a church (and married to a pastor), religion comes up pretty frequently. (For the record, I actually do think I know who's right. But I digress.) Politics, though -- on that one, Sammy and I can agree. It amazes me how vitriolic people can become when discussing politicians and political viewpoints.

Overall, though, what really astounds me is the sheer number of topics that are considered off limits in the average discussion. If one is to be considered a polite conversationalist, one must avoid talking about money, religion, politics, or anything controversial (or interesting).

So I guess my question would be, how do you ever get to know someone if you can't talk about anything fun? I want people to know me, to know the real me. That means sometimes I must give my opinions on subjects that people disagree about.

Since I'm just starting back to the blogging world, it seems like a good time to state this:

Just so you know, we are next to broke, I'm an evangelical Christian who strongly believes Jesus is the only way to Heaven, and I'm probably more libertarian than anything, politically.

There you go. Now I guess we talk about the weather?

Car without kids

2009-02-21T10:43:00.003-05:00

Well, thus far, my plan to avoid housework by blogging is working perfectly! I sit here on my bed, surrounded by the mess that five people in a small house easily produce, ignoring it all in favor of making sure I keep up with my new blogging responsibilities.

I'm dedicated like that.

I had the opportunity to enjoy one of my favorite activities this morning. I went to town, to drop a check off at the bank, and there were no children in the car!! I blasted the radio as loud as it would go and listened to any song that I wanted to.

Now, I don't listen to vulgar music or anything like that. But I do love some southern rock, and rockin' country, and other songs that might not be overly appropriate for a five year old.

I have learned to be very careful what songs come on the radio while my children are in the car. Even if you have the music coming out of only the front speakers, quietly, it's one of Murphy's laws that they will hear the one line out of the one song you'd rather they didn't.

After all, having your three year old son break into "Save a horse, ride a cowboy" in the church foyer is a good way to learn that lesson.

Back at this thing

2009-02-20T21:20:00.000-05:00

I've decided to blog again. I decided to return, because I miss it. I miss putting my thoughts in written form, down on "paper." I miss carefully choosing a phrase for maximum impact. I miss seeing what the few loyal readers I had thought of what I wrote.

But most of all, I find myself recently having far too much time for housework. And that, my friends, is entirely unacceptable.

Cool giveaway

2007-10-08T20:58:00.000-04:00

For anyone who could use some encouragement, there is an awesome giveaway over at Biblical Womanhood. If I don't win this book, I want to buy it!! What stay at home mom can't use some encouragement?!?!

Check it out here.

Courtesy of Cath

2007-08-28T21:32:00.001-04:00

1. Yourself: Myself
2. Your spouse: hunter
3. Your hair: curly
4. Your mother: saint
5. Your father: Daddy
6. Your favorite item: books
7. Your dream last night: none
8. Your favorite drink: tea
9. Your dream car: Expedition
10. The room you are in: living
11. Your ex: nonexistent
12. Your fear: alone
13. What you want to be in 10 years: alive
14. Who you hung out with last night: Nate
15. What you're not: done
16. Muffins: sweet
17: One of your wish list items: Dustbuster
18: Time: night
19. The last thing you did: library
20. What you are wearing: clothes
21. Your favorite weather: spring
22. Your favorite book: James
23. The last thing you ate: Spaghetti
24. Your life: Full
25. Your mood: stressed
26. Your best friend: Jesus
27. What you're thinking about right now: school
28. Your car: Durango
29. What you are doing at the moment: typing
30. Your summer: sweet
31. Your relationship status: full
32. What is on your TV: Football
33. What is the weather like: dark
34. When was the last time you laughed: always

Which princess are you?

2007-08-07T20:14:00.000-04:00

Which Disney Princess Are You?
	You are Pocahontas. You defy convention and sometimes do what is considered taboo. Unfortunately, others do not always appreciate your differences, so it's good that you are so strong-willed. You are loyal and you believe in fate. Your true love will find you one day.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Cathy wanted to know which princess I am. I think this is pretty accurate. I'm relatively famed in my family for saying what I think.

Which one are you?

The reason is the thing

2007-08-06T10:30:00.000-04:00

Recently, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar added baby 17 to their family. First of all, congratulations. Children are a blessing. I'm not interested in having 17 children, but more power to them if they can afford it (money and time).

However, in reading the blogging world since the baby was born, I have been a little annoyed by both the anti- and pro- Duggar families. The anti-Duggar families annoy me because they tend to (not 100%, but mostly) be liberal people, with whom I would disagree about most topics anyway.

It's many of the pro-Duggar families that have irritated me most, however. Many of the quiverfull proponents, and extremely conservative Christians, have been very vocal since Jennifer Duggar was born. My biggest beef with them is that they seem to hold the Duggars, and other mega-sized, skirt wearing, homeschooling families, up as examples to be emulated. My concern is the legalism this promotes.

If you have a large family because you feel the Lord has called you to, and you genuinely believe you should turn over all fertility to the Lord, then more power to you. (Although, I would debate that the quiverfull mentality is just NFP in the reverse, as they don't just go about having kids but do things to increase fertility as much as NFP proponents do things to decrease fertility. Therefore, I don't think you can approve of one without the other. But that's another post for another day.)HOWEVER, if you are having mulitple children because you think that makes you a better Christian, and that God loves those who have 17 or 25 kids more than He loves those who have 1 or 2 or even none, then you are wrong, and doing it for the wrong reasons. I would even go so far as to say that the Lord will not bless you for that sacrifice, as I believe He is more concerned with the heart.

If you wear dresses because the Lord has convicted you about modest dress, or it is an issue where you have struggled, then you are doing the right thing. If you are wearing dresses so that you can "look like" a Christian, or because you believe God will love you more than if you wear pants or even *gasp* shorts, then once again, I believe that is the wrong reasoning.

The same goes for homeschooling, having long hair, having a wife that stays at home. If you are doing it because it is your genuine calling, then by all means honor the conviction the Lord has placed on your heart. But if you are doing it for looks, if you think this outward stuff makes you a better Christian and more worthy of God's favor, or if you think this makes you more Holy than those worldly Christians who don't do it, then you might as well not bother. You're just wasting your time.

Baseball season

2007-05-19T18:05:00.000-04:00

Like many moms this time of year, I am spending a great deal of time at my local little league park. Joshua is playing rookie league (coach's pitch) this year, a big step up from the t-ball of the past two years. We practice twice a week, and have one to two games a week. That makes for a lot of nights, sitting on metal bleachers with the other moms.

Josh's team is undefeated, so far this year. They have won eight games, and are the only unbeaten team in their league. This is apparently a far cry from last year, when the team lost. A lot. This year, Josh and two other boys are the only two new boys on the team. Everyone else has at least one year experience at this level, and it shows!

However, what I think is the funniest thing of all is the moms in the stand (myself included). The kids are out on the field, having a grand ole' time. They are trying their hardest, cheering each other on, and encouraging one another when a mistake is made. They are rushing the field for every home run. It's adorable. If they bother to ask about the score, their coaches tell them it doesn't matter, and to pay attention to the game and just do their best. They are absolutely fine with this.

We moms are also cheering. We shout for each child (our own the loudest, of course). We yell encouragement. We never, ever say anything negative or challenge the umpire -- things which are completely forbidden at this ball park.

We also, however, are seemingly obsessed with the score. We keep track of runs and outs as if we were the official scorekeeper. If ever two parents have a different result at the end of an inning, someone's older child is sent round to the scorekeeper for an update. We find ourselves saying something like, "Why do they keep throwing home? Get it back to the pitcher and stop the play -- that kid at home can't catch." Only to realize it is our child on home base. Not that I would ever say that, of course . . .

It's a good thing someone's priorities and attitudes are right.

New trick

2007-05-10T14:57:00.000-04:00

Hat Tip to Cath for the cool new signature thingy. If it works . . . :)

My brain is rotting

2007-04-30T22:19:00.000-04:00

I wanted to write something profound, and deep, and thoughtful. I wanted to sound intelligent and pithy.

But I had seven children at my house today. And all I can come up with is, "Thank God for bedtime."

Dana

An image received during worship

2007-04-25T22:32:00.000-04:00

I recently attended a woman's conference through our church, which had a very powerful worship/prayer time. I received, as clear as can be, the following image during worship time. I've held it to myself, but I feel compelled to share it now. I don't know how many people read this, but it's the best forum I have.

An image received during worship

I am a vessel, in the rain as the sun shines down.
My hands are lifted to the sun
while the rain fills me.

The rain is cool, and warms me at the same time.
It refreshes.
It fills me.

I was so empty, so dry.
I begin to fill
the rain begins to quench
Dry, cracked vessel
I begin to heal

But then --
I am called away
I hear a voice, calling my name
The voice calls me out of the sun, out of the filling rain
My Lord asks me to stay, but I begin to note the passage of time.
I am distracted from His warmth, from the rain
I answer the call of Everyday Life. I step away from the filling, out of His rain, out of His sun, into the world. Only half full.

The rain still falls
But not into me

Come back, He calls. Come back, and be filled to overflowing. But I wait. I wait, until I am once again dry and cracked, almost broken, before I step into His rain, into His sun.

And He welcomes me back. Every time.

Dana

Together

2007-04-17T14:42:00.000-04:00

I am a UVA Cavalier fan, born and bred. My great grandfather was a professor there, I've followed Wahoo sports my entire life. I even went there for one year, and hope one day to finish my degree, and graduate there. We have an ongoing joke with Nate's cousin -- a Hokie, who is married to a Hokie. We are trying desperately to get their son, Noah, to say "Wahoowa." In response, he smiles and says, "Go Hokies."

This is way bigger than any rivalry -- way bigger than a football game or a basketball game. Today, we are friend and family. Today, we are united through a horrible, horrible tragedy that should never have occured.

So, today, I stand with everyone, in support of Virginia Tech.

Go Hokies.

Love is . . .

2007-03-21T14:13:00.000-04:00

May I vent for a moment? Of course I can. It's my blog.

Recently, among our family and friends, we have had several couples separate or contemplate separation. Without exception, one member of each couple with trouble has said, "I don't feel like I love him/her anymore." This has, actually, made me pretty angry. So, since in the interest of family harmony and a desire not to have the mashed potatoes smashed in my head at our next family gathering, I cannot tell these couples my preferred response to this sort of statement, I'm going to say it here.

Love is not a feeling. That rush of emotion you felt at the beginning of your relationship, when all was hunky-dory, wasn't really "love." It's another four-letter word, and it's hormone-driven. When you're living real life, with real jobs and real kids and real church and real baseball and real LIFE, you're not always going to feel "love." That doesn't mean that you have the right to pack it all in, to overturn your children's lives so that you can go in search of an emotion that never lasts past six months of cleaning up someone else's dirty underwear and socks.

Let me tell you what love is. Love is an action. Love is getting up every morning, and deciding to put your husband or wife first in your life. Deciding that you will treat them with respect and dignity, that you will look for the positive and good things in them. Love is being there when they need you, and not when they don't. Love is not worrying about how you feel. Love is worrying about how they feel. Love is knowing that when the chips are down, you will be there for your sweetheart. Love is knowing that the only One whose love completes you is God, and not asking your spouse to fill that gap they are constitutionally incapable of filling.

Love is a choice. Every single morning, you get up, and you decide, "Today, I will love them." Marriages take work. No, they should not be a constant struggle. But if you leave them alone, they will die. I adore my husband. I am blessed beyond compare that Nate is mine. He is everything that I need or could ever want in a husband. I believe that. And when things are not going well, and I am washing the dishes that were left beside his chair and picking up the popsicle wrappers under the chair that he seems unable to put in the trashcan, I will choose to continue to believe that. It's easy to believe it when he is slaving away to finish a sunroom he didn't even really want to start. I choose to continue to believe it when it's not so easy to see.

If you choose to give love, you will eventually feel it in return. But you might have to actually put someone else's feelings before your own for a minute.

Dana

What God told me recently (Paraphrased)

2007-03-02T22:30:00.000-05:00

"Hello, daughter. I want to speak to you. I see what you have been doing. I see the work you're doing, and I see your heart. Thank you for your service. I see the children's ministry, and I thank you. Thank you for teaching your children and other's children to pray to Me. Thank you for telling your boys to pray to Me when they are scared, when they are sick. Thank you for leading them to Me. But, daughter, I miss you. I miss your first love for Me, your hunger for My Word. I know what you are doing, and I know it is out of the right motivation. But, daughter, it is far more important for you to come to Me than for you to do whatever it is that claims your attention.

Daughter, I love you. I love you for you, not for what you're doing. I know that you know this -- now live it. Put Me first -- not your work for Me first. Come away. Turn off the phone. Turn off the computer. Turn off the TV. Find a babysitter. Come away with Me. Bring your empty spirit, and I will fill it. Bring your restlessness, and I will calm it. Bring your heart, your mind, your body, your soul. Bring it all to Me, give it all back to Me. Put Me at the top of the list, first thing in the morning, last thing in the evening.

Daughter, I see what you do. But I love who you are.

Come home to Me."

Priority Concern

2007-02-27T21:52:00.000-05:00

I have recently discovered that a baseball card sold for approximately $2.35 million. Yep. For a baseball card. Don't believe me? Check this out. It's a 1909 Honus Wagner. Described as the "Holy Grail" of baseball cards.

Why does this bother me at all? It's the buyer's money, right? It's his interest, obviously -- his passion. After all, baseball is the American pastime. It's healthy (if you ignore the steroids). My own children play baseball at our local park. I have nothing at all against baseball. And I have an attic full of baseball cards -- my husband collected them like mad as a child. So, I have nothing against baseball cards. I just think that this shows how out of whack our American priorities are.

Why? Well, let's have a little history lesson. The Declaration of Independence was signed in 1776. It was actually signed on July 2, not July 4, FYI. We've been celebrating the wrong date for 231 years. John Quincy Adams was one of its biggest supporters. In 1820, this venerable man became distressed at how quickly the original Declaration was deteriorating, due to handling and exposure to the elements during viewing. He had issued 200 authorized copies issued, so that the original could be preserved. Thirty-one copies are known to still exist. A copy came to light earlier this week. Its estimated value? $250,000.

Our priorities are off.

Another year

2007-02-25T22:01:00.000-05:00

Well, it's time for another birthday ode. My biggest little man, Joshua, turned seven years old today.

I struggled with being a mom when Josh was first born. (See here for some background.) It was not an easy time for me, for Nate, or for Josh. But today, as I looked at that little boy -- who is not so little anymore -- I have never been more grateful to have him in my life.

Josh, you are my serious, even-tempered little man. I can always count on you to help me, to be responsible and mature. You are seven, going on fifteen.

But you are also mischievous, and you love to jump out from behind the door and scare me. You tell me all your secrets, and your daddy and I are your favorite people in the whole world. You are never embarrassed or ashamed to tell someone I am your mama, and you love me.

You are growing up so fast, Josh. I can't believe you're seven. I must admit, tonight I am a little teary-eyed to think of how quickly today has come, and how much more quickly tomorrow gets here every day. But now, in this medium, with the only words I have, I want to tell you this: I love you, little man. I love your smile, your heart, your beautiful blue eyes. Never, ever doubt for one minute that your mama loves you, and that I thank God for you every, single day.

Happy Birthday.

Love,

Mommy

A rare moment of prudence

2007-02-25T22:00:00.000-05:00

Blaine: You know, Mama, maybe I shouldn't try to do jumping jacks while I'm standing on this chair.

Good plan, son. Good plan.

The death of a church

2007-02-23T22:34:00.000-05:00

I am sad tonight. A church I know and love (not the one I attend, but the one we used to) is dying. They have rejected the truth, they have rejected a Godly pastor, and they are hell-bent on having things their way. Not everyone in the church has this heart, of course. There are good and Godly people who call this church their home. However, they are out-maneuvered, out-powered and out-voted (congregational rule sucks) by those who insist it is "their" church. Christ is not going to argue with them about that. They want it to be "their" church, and the Lord has willingly left them to it. You walk in the building, and it's cold. There is no love, there is no friendship. There is only who said what to whom and about whom. There is only who is sitting in whose pew; who sits where in the choir loft; who leads what committee.

My heart breaks for the good people -- for my mom and dad, who still attend; for Nate's dad and step-mom; for the few other families I have known all my life who love the Lord and want to do His will. My heart breaks for Randy and his wife Lisa, his mom Dolly, his girls Abby and Becca. They uprooted their entire family and moved here from Kentucky under false pretenses. They were called to pastor, when this group of people only wanted a preacher. They wanted things their way, but to have someone to give the sermon on Sunday mornings so they could say they "did church."

I believe that the Lord has shown me the future of this church. No, I am not going crazy or new-age. But I believe that the doors of this church will close in the future. I don't know when, but I know it is going to happen. And it breaks my heart. However, the Church is the body of Christ, the people in whose hearts Christ resides -- and they are leaving that building in droves already.

We're baaa-aack

2007-02-20T20:43:00.000-05:00

Watch out, everyone, the Rexrode boys are back in town!! And so am I, by default. I tend to go where they go. Damage control, I suppose.

We had a great time. Really. It was fabulous. However, I am seriously in need of a vacation. No one should ever look at a trip to DisneyWorld, complete with 13 hour drive, as a relaxing vacation. The boys were good, really. Well, sort of. Kind of. Okay, not really. The older two were acceptable, but the littlest was -- not. Details will come in a future post (which I have already written in my head), detailing my concerns about this little one, but suffice it to say it was a challenging week, behavior-wise. However, now that we are back home, our life will be settling back into a routine.

I do need to find the boys' floor. They came home with an insane amount of over-priced Disney memorabilia. We are not clutter people; having five people and a dog in approximately 1,000 sq. ft of space tends to make a family stay pretty much to the basics. However, given the circumstances of the payment for this trip, and the instructions of my mother-in-law and Nate's aunt and uncle to make this the trip of a lifetime, we went a bit wild with the toys. We barely fit it all in the car to bring it home, and now I am seriously wondering where it is all going to go.

So, nothing deep or philisophical from me today. I'm too relieved to be home, too appreciative of my regular hum-drum existence, and far too ready for the next women's conference at my church to come up with something profound. For your information, the no children, no husband over-night trip takes place in thirty-one days. And counting.

Dana

Where are we going?

2007-02-08T15:40:00.000-05:00

Well, this is an open-ended question. Spiritually, metaphorically speaking, I hope that my family and I are growing toward the Lord. I hope we are moving in a positive direction, and making a real impact.

Physically and in a more literal sense, we are going to DisneyWorld. Apparently, Nate's grandfather had an unexpressed but very intense desire to take Nate to DisneyWorld when he was a child. However, due to his health and his wife's death, he was never able to. So, when he passed away and his estate settled recently, the family decided it would be a fitting use of the estate funds to send us to DisneyWorld. For free. Everything is paid for, and I do mean everything!! Food, tickets, spending $$, gas $$, accommodations. This is a huge gift to our family.

The downside -- three children six and under in a major theme park, and a 13 hour drive. However, given the tremendous opportunity which our wallets would likely never have supported independently, we are going to deal with those negatives and have a fantastic time!!

So, as we are leaving tomorrow, it is highly unlikely I'll be posting until we get back. :)

So, see y'all in a week! I'll post fabulous pictures!!!

Dana

Child Rearing Philosophies

2007-02-05T14:06:00.000-05:00

I went to a Super Bowl party last night with a lot of family and friends. We had a really good time, and the boys were very well behaved.

Among the guests at this event were two couples with teeny infants. Aside from the voracious baby lust that someone else's smiling, happy, clean-smelling infant inspires in every female, (and don't even try to deny it), these little ones brought thoughts to my mind of different ways of raising children. Now, these two couples and my husband and I have certain similarities. We are all Christians, and we are raising our children in Christian homes. We are all rabidly Republican, and extraordinarily conservative. Two of the three families have stay at home moms, and the other mom and dad work part-time so their son is only in daycare three days a week -- with me, actually. :)

But there are also extreme differences, as in every family. We talked a little about that last night, about our different child-rearing philosophies. I am a very laid back mom, much more so than these two moms at this point. I must say, however, in my defense, that by the time they have three boys aged 6, 5 and 3 (an impossibility in one case, as they already have a daughter . . .), they will not react to screams and loud thumps as quickly, either.

So, I have decided to set forth some of my child-rearing philosophies:

1) If it is part of a healthy breakfast, it is equally acceptable as part of a healthy dinner.

2) If a child is old enough to take it out, said child is old enough to put it back.

3) Going down the slip and slide can substitute for a bath, when you are running late.

4) Artwork can be thrown away. Really. It's okay. Try not to let the kid see it, and traumatize them, but there is only so much space available.

5) It is perfectly fine for the clothing you choose to get dressed in to be a pair of footie pajamas, if we're not going to town today.

6) If a child is happy in what they are wearing, and it is seasonally appropriate, it is all good. It doesn't matter if it "matches." Who determines what "matches," anyway?

7) There are times when locking children on the back porch to give Mom a minute of peace and quiet is really in their best interests.

8) There is a constitutional amendment needed badly in this country, which would require that every mother be permitted to pee without company at least once per day.

9) Children aren't that fragile, physically. It takes a lot to break a kid -- I haven't broken one yet!!

10) Children are a lot more fragile than you think, emotionally and spiritually. Handle that part with care.

Real people, not molds

2007-01-31T21:59:00.000-05:00

Nate and I are home from our bible study tonight, and we are now watching American Idol. We had a great talk on the way home -- not that we don't usually. I had a fabulous blog post written out. However, as I forgot my telepathic posting helmet, I shall have to attempt to recreate it here.

As part of our new role in children's ministry, Nate and I are spending a bit more time with our pastor and his wife. We have more of an opportunity to speak with them, and are spending more time with their children. We have always liked Chad and Julie, don't get me wrong. However, over the past months, we have come to truly respect them and one of our very favorite characteristics has been really brought home. They are real. They don't hide that they aren't perfect. Chad doesn't wear his "pastor suit" and speak with a different accent on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights. Julie doesn't dress their children in matching clothing and have them sit neatly throughout the entire sermon, taking notes. In Latin. They are good people, and they have good children. But they are not perfect, and they don't pretend to be.

Of all of the qualities that I admire in people, this is one of the hardest to find; the ability to be real. Watching American Idol tonight, I see these ladies and gentleman in these costumes. There is really no other way to describe what they are wearing, and these little personas that they put on to get noticed. I know why they are doing it -- they want to be the next American Idol. They need a gimmick.

My point, if I can have a point this late at night after multiple nights in a row with very little sleep, is that I want to be able to be who I am. I want to allow my children to dress themselves, even if they don't match, and give them the confidence that they look fabulous. I want my five year old to be comfortable in his footie pajamas, and never fear that someone will laugh at him. I want to raise my children to be themselves, because of my example and willingness to let my real self show. I don't want to dress a certain way, or use certain appropriate church lingo just because it is expected of me. I want my friends from church, the lady who waits on me at the grocery store, and the woman who cuts me off in traffic to see the same person inside of me. No gimmicks.

I want to be me, wrinkles and all. After all, that's who God loves - warts and all, no gimmick required. I want to be real.

Dana

Prayer Request

2007-01-28T19:28:00.000-05:00

I may not be able to post for a couple of days. I am a glutton for punishment, who has somehow managed to overschedule our family. On Monday of this week, there will be nine children under the age of 8 in my home. On Tuesday, I will have six age 6 and under. On Wednesday, I will only have my three. On Thursday, I will have six under the age of 6 again. However, this will be a different six than on Tuesday -- and I anticipate this will be the easiest of the babysitting days. One of these extras is a 13 wk old infant, and the other two are children I watch regularly, and you can't even tell they're here! Friday will be my last day with the girls I'm watching, and there will once again be six kiddos.

So, I have no idea when I will come out of my child-induced haze to post. But I promise I'll be back.

Pray for me.

Dana

Checking in

2007-01-26T13:10:00.000-05:00

Nothing deep or phylisophical today -- I'm too tired. It's been a long week. However, I am feeling strangely content. The house is a mess, I'm behind where I wanted to be in my transcription, I'm behind on the laundry (not that this is anything new), and I'm out of dishwashing detergent. This means that either A) the dishes pile up on the counter until tonight, when Nate brings some detergent home from the store; or B) I handwash them. Umm, get used to the piles.

Even with the piles of dishes/laundry/toys, my house is very content today. There is a noise in the air -- the noise of children playing, getting along. The TV is off, and the older boys are putting together puzzles. Justin is asleep.

All is right in the world.

Dana

Some people have absolutely no common sense

2007-01-25T22:04:00.000-05:00

Some people have no common sense. None. Not even a little bit. Some people make choices that I simply cannot understand, under any circumstances. I absolutely don't get this.

I tried to find a link, but I couldn't. These people ride snowmobiles around a motocross like track, including things like jumping it over 100 feet. They regularly wreck, and the thing lands on them. Broken legs, arms, backs and necks are not uncommon.

I have told my children that absolutely under no circumstances should they ever, ever think about even asking me to do something that stupid. Because it ain't gonna happen.

Dana

Man, life is crazy

2007-01-24T12:52:00.000-05:00

Well, the Rexrode clan has gone totally beserk. Seriously, totally, absolutely beserk.

Recently, Nate and I have become part of our Wed night children's ministry at our church. Actually, we're sort of leading it now. Yep, that's right. We're back in a "leadership" position at a church. Now, personally, I'm all about team leadership. I don't mind being the fall guy and doing the planning, but I'd like a lot of input. And that's the way it works here -- at least, that's the way it works now that we're in charge. :)

But in addition to this new responsibility in ministry (about which we are very, very excited!), I've also taken in some kiddos to babysit. At the moment, there are six children six and under in my house. My very, very small house. It's a bit cramped. So, this is looking like a venture that is not going to work out, at least this many children.

My point is, I think, that the Lord has really placed my home as my ministry. Nate made some (deserved) comments about how he felt coming home to a dirty house, so I've really worked at making a "home" for my children and husband, at serving the family God gave me. And then Nate and I both felt called to this cKc thing. So, we're doing that now. And then Nate is saying that he needs me to bring in more income. So, I'm following my husband's lead and submitting to his wishes, and making arrangements to bring in income. But, then I can't follow what I feel I'm being called to do, and really make a good "home." Bc trust me, this house doesn't look very homelike right now . . .

I think it may be time for a little heart-to-heart with Nate, and a little more study in the Good Book.

2006-11-28T21:46:00.000-05:00

Your Language Arts Grade: 100%

Way to go! You know not to trust the MS Grammar Check and you know "no" from "know." Now, go forth and spread the good word (or at least, the proper use of apostrophes).

Are You Gooder at Grammar?
Make a Quiz

And hat tip to Cathy at Call Her Blessed. This score will likely not surprise her, as she did not surprise me.

:)

A question from a six year old . . .

2006-11-26T21:14:00.001-05:00

"How did God make time?"

Thanks

2006-11-26T20:58:00.000-05:00

Well, this is the time of year when we officially come together to be thankful for our blessings. I find it kind of sad that we as Americans, in the most blessed country in the world as far as freedoms and material blessings, must schedule a day for fear we might forget to be thankful. I believe that sometimes, in our overabundance, we can become blase about our blessings. Almost as though we deserve them. We are Americans, are we not? Everyone knows that God blesses America. Well, not to be the voice of doom, but the farther America walks from God's intended path, the less frequently those blessings will be observed. But I digress . . .

As a Christian, I should be innately thankful, every single day, for every single blessing; including the less than obvious ones, like hardships, trials and difficulties. But, in the spirit of the holiday (holy day), I believe I shall enumerate some of them.

Thank you, Father, for my husband. He works so hard to support us, and is an honest, forthright, and Godly man. I thank you for him and all he is to my life.

Thank you, Father, for my children. Thought I occasionally whine and frequently joke about them, I recognize that they are my greatest earthly ministry. I thank you for my intelligent, quiet Joshua who frequently shocks us into speechlessness by his insights and questions. I thank you for Blaine, our wide open little man. He keeps me on my toes and shows me Your love with his open hearted love for the world. I thank you for Justin, our dependent little three year old. Through working with his speech difficulties, you have taught me that not everything will come easily for us and our children. As I see him work so hard, and succeed, I understand the value of perseverance and patience.

Thank you, Father, for my friends. Thank you specifically for Melanie, who has known me for so long. She sees me as me, and not just a wife and mother. You know that I need friends who are not focused on wife and mother roles, to keep me centered on You. Thank you for her, and all she is in my life. Thank you also for Cathy. You know that I need to know I am not alone, to know that other moms have the same doubts and insecurities I do. I can see that she is a fantastic wife and mother, and I thank you for her Godly example and the friendship of someone who is where I am.

Father, I thank you for my physical blessings, including Nate's job, our warm home and the fact that our concern is how we will pay for Christmas presents, not groceries or the power bill.

Most of all, Lord, thank you for your son. Thank you for your love, and my salvation. Without that, none of these other blessings would be at all.

Happy Thanksgiving.

With all due respect . . .

2006-11-21T22:05:00.001-05:00

My friend Cathy posted a great poster she made at the site I used to make the one of Nate and the boys one post ago. And, one hundred percent, I agree with her thought that Jesus is the reason for the season.

But we celebrate His birth with such hoopla . . . with a party like no other holiday. And yet, His birth is nothing without His death. His death is nothing without His resurrection. And His resurrection means nothing, absolutely nothing, if we do not accept His sacrifice on our behalf and ask Him to be our Lord and Savior.

So, as we head into the Christmas season, think about the baby whose birth we celebrate -- the Holy Babe who was born to die.

I've been playing

2006-11-21T21:58:00.000-05:00

So, I can't find time to blog, but I can find time to play. Let's see if this result works . . .

(Hat Tip to Cathy at Call Her Blessed for the cool tool.)

Well, I did it again

2006-11-02T20:42:00.000-05:00

I did it again. I let another eon elapse between one post and the next. Anyone who is still reading is probably getting tired of the, "I'm too busy, I don't have time, but I'm going to make time," spiel. But I'm too busy, I don't have time, but I'm going to make time.

Believe it or not, I actually love to write. I really love the outlet this blog provides me. And I have tons and tons of entries written since the last one -- in my head. Why can't they just invent that telepathic computer connection? Man, I could get a lot done that way.

But as an update since our last post, the boys are doing great. We have decided not to pursue any potential testing or anything for Blaine. He is doing very well on a modified diet, and any diagnosis would just be an excuse to slack on the parenting for us.

Homeschooling is going well, I think. The boys are settled in. Josh has adapted pretty well, and continues to do so. Blaine absolutely loves it. He begs to have school, and gets upset when we don't have it on the weekends!! If you had been a fly on the wall the day he stood, sobbing, in our kitchen asking why he couldn't make better choices, and crying that he must be "the stupidest little boy God ever made . . ." Only then could you appreciate, truly, the way his excitement lightens my heart.

As for me, I think my walk with the Lord is getting stronger. I had sort of slipped into holding pattern for a while, but I've really began to delve and read more and more. I have a really great post written about the priorities the Lord has placed on my heart, and what He's doing with me right now.

I just have to get it from my mind to my computer . . . where did I put that headset?

Our doctor visit (LONG - sorry)

2006-09-20T21:31:00.000-04:00

The younger two children had their annual checkups today. They are both growing well and developing well. We had, generally, a good report from their doctor. Blaine had to have three shots, which made me cry, but all in all I got a good report.

The only catch is, Blaine was awful. I mean, awful. I mean, tearing the cover of the exam table into little pieces; refusing to look the doctor in the eye, on his hands and knees, rocking, while the doctor tried to ask him questions. He would make statements that had nothing to do with the question just asked.

As you know if you know us, we have been concerned about Blaine's behavior for some time. One of our main reasons for homeschooling this year was to just see if it would make a difference in Blaine's attention span, in his ability to focus on a school day. He has always been what I would describe as a "wide open" little boy. His pre-K teacher loved him, I think (he's hard not to love!), but it got to the point that he was in time out multiple times in a day at school. The final straw was the afternoon he stood next to me at the sink and said, "Mommy, why can't I make better choices? I must be the stupidest little boy God ever made." I have tears in my eyes as I type this, just remembering the rock-solid feeling in my gut from that moment.

I thought he was getting better. It seemed to me that he was growing in his ability to do "school work," to behave appropriately in these kinds of circumstances. I mean, he is young -- he just turned five. But how long can this be an excuse?

I have always been against medication for ADD and ADHD, except for in the most extreme of circumstances. Nate and I both have family members who drug their perfectly normal little boys, because they want them to act like miniature grown ups.

Today, in this doctor's appointment, I addressed his behavior with our doctor. I told him that I did not think Blaine had a problem, beyond being a very active little boy of a mommy who had tried to fit too much into one day (Up early; to Bible Study where he had to sit; home to do schoolwork where he had to sit; no nap; to the Laundromat to wash the comforters, where he couldn't run; to the doctor). I told him about Blaine's academic abilities, and the behavioral things we do to control him when he reaches the point we call "meltdown."

I wanted him to say I was right. I wanted him to say Blaine was not acting in any way different than a little boy should. I wanted to hear that there was no need for anything further, that there was obviously nothing wrong with my little boy.

Instead, I heard that attention disorders don't affect just children who can't do school work -- that some children, who enjoy schoolwork like Blaine does, can focus on workbooks and such for hours but still have a "problem." I heard him say that he didn't know what would happen if we tested him. To me, as the mom, that means there is some possibility -- probably a good one, knowing this doctor the way I do and knowing how cautiously he phrases things -- that my child would end up "diagnosed" with something, labeled. Forever. I was told that as long as we felt we had a good handle on him through our behavioral techniques, it was fine to continue exactly the way we are.

I sit here now, a little shocked -- a little stunned. I know this seems worse to me than it is.

But it is not what I wanted to hear.

Not so very long ago . . .

2006-09-19T15:20:00.000-04:00

On this date in 1983, not so very long ago, my mother and father brought home a belated present for me for my third birthday. I thought it was annoying, wet and loud, but they refused to take it back to the hospital.

That annoying present has grown up, and today my "baby" sister turns 23. Sherri is very different from me -- we have almost nothing in common, on the surface, but an insane amount of similarities once you know us better. I was, I confess, a terribly mean older sister -- think, "torture with fake rubber spiders," and "refusal to admit she was related to me in public." She, on the other hand, retaliated -- think, "white-out applied to my face in all the family portraits," and "refusal to admit she was related to me in public."

Man, it was fun!!

I loved you then, and I love you now. Happy Birthday, Sher!!

Love, Sissy

What was I thinking?

2006-09-19T14:05:00.000-04:00

Apparently, I've used this title before, b/c it opted in automatically when I was posting today.

Well, as you can see, my dedication to blog every day was shortlived. In addition to homeschooling, right now Nate and I are participating in a small group training session led by one of our pastors, with the thought of praying about potentially leading a small group in our own home at some point in the not-too-distant future. This takes place every Sunday evening, and has a small section of reading and questions each day. I'm also participating in a woman's study by Nancy Leigh DeMoss titled "Lies Women Believe (and the Truth that sets them free)". It just started, but it appears to be very interesting, timely and helpful. I'm going to be one of the small group leaders. At the onset, this was supposed to entail mainly discussion facilitation. I'm concerned it may be a bit more. We'll see where that goes!! We also go to the library at least once a week to get books for school. So, it appears I'm not actually "homeschooling" so much as I am "car schooling." Nate and I also alternate months as Sunday School teachers, and that starts in October.

I say that jokingly, but I am a little concerned I may have taken on too much here at the start of our school year. We will need to wait and see how it goes. I have a tendency to dive right in, become overburdened, and say yes to everyone who asks. I need to become more discerning, more prayerfully-led as opposed to need-led. It took me a long time to recognize that just because I recognize a need doesn't mean I'm called to fill it.

So, if my posts stop making sense, become incoherent, and my phone conversations drift off into nothingness, promise me you'll ask me whether or not I've managed to fit in sleep somewhere!!!!

Dana

It's my birthday!!

2006-09-14T15:47:00.000-04:00

In looking over this blog, I have realized that I have posted a lot about my family, but not a whole lot about me. Which is good, right now, I suppose, since I am so family-centered at this point in my life. Christ's ministry through me right now is primarily to my children and husband. At some point in the future, I may enter a phase of ministry that puts me outside with others. But, as I have said so many times, the only "thing" I can have with me in Heaven are the souls of those I love. :)

- Interesting note: Jesus works through children. At about 9:40 this morning, the children and I were praying together as part of our school day. For no reason, and without any prompting in this direction, B-Boo said, "I would like to play for Mrs. ___ and her family." So, we did. In talking with this person this afternoon, at exactly this time of day today, she was in a difficult situation unexpectedly. Praise the Lord that B-Boo was responsive to the voice of the Lord!!

- My children are on the front porch, painting. They are being quiet. This should concern me, but somehow, I cannot get up the energy to care. That's why I sent them outside, right? So it wouldn't matter what they painted?

- My house is having a major tissue shortage, which has the effect of causing random rolls of toilet paper to be sitting around on tables and ledges. Good thing I buy the soft kind, huh?

- My favorite color is purple. (Not sure what relevance that has -- just thought I should share.)

If you are wondering what this post is about, I would ask you to check the description at the top. I promised to let you inside my own little world. I realized that the recent posts have been coherent, occasionally well-thought out (or at least thought out), and timely. This does not accurately reflect my thought patterns or life, lol. So, I decided to be more accurate, and let this post reflect the little of this or that, unconnected bits of trivia and nonsense that are usually floating through my brain. If you come away confused, don't worry. I do, too, usually.

Dana

September 11, 2006

2006-09-11T14:21:00.000-04:00

Five years ago today, I sat in my mother's Dodge Caravan in town. It was my first trip "out" with my nine day old son. We had both boys in the car, and I was at the University of Virginia parking and transportation building returning the parking pass I had used to park closer to the building during the last few weeks of my pregnancy. It was taking a very, very long time to get up to the front, and one of the ladies was talking on the phone. "How rude," I thought, "talking on the phone like this when the line is so long." Then I heard her say, "Well, I'm glad you're okay." She hung up the phone and turned to me. "Sorry," she said, "My sister is in New York." She said it like it explained everything. I must have looked puzzled, becase she said, "Didn't you hear? A plane has flown into the World Trade Center."

I didn't know it, yet, but America was changed forever. At that point, the news was still reporting that it was an accident. I ran back out to the car and turned on the radio. My mom was on the phone, having just received a call telling her what was happening.

We finished up in town and came home. I sat, glued to the television, and watched the video of the towers fall over and over. I heard the announcement that it was even worse than we believed -- someone had done it on purpose.

We were at war.

That war continues today, and in my own little way, I would like to say thank you to our service men and women who serve our country, protecting us from those who think we are worthy of death simply by existing.

So, today, in particular, I thank:

Wayne Ellyson, National Guard, returned from Iraq
Adam Graves, Marines, currently stationed somewhere near Baghdad
Brandon Graves, Marines, finishing boot camp in November, orders not yet received but expected to be deployed to Iraq by Christmas

And all of the civilian fighters, who died on the day our world changed forever.

For a tribute to the 2,996 victims of September 11, 2001, please see here.

God Bless.

2006-09-04T17:42:00.000-04:00

Somebody loves me!! I've been tagged for my first meme, ever!! :)

So, I guess I better do it, huh? :)

3 Things That Scare Me

~Spiders
~Something hurting my boys that I can't fix
~Being left

3 People That Make Me Laugh

~J-Bo
~B-Boo
~J-Rooni

3 Things I Love (only 3?)

~My Family
~That quiet time of night when the boys are asleep, and Nate and I have the TV off and are just talking, or reading, or doing a devotional.
~When my children obey (a girl can dream, right?)

3 Things I Hate

~Not being able to make everything better
~Being wrong
~Arrogant people

3 Things I Don't Understand

~ Democrats
~ Feminism (I have to echo this. I mean, seriously, I just don't get it. What is any better as a woman than fulfilling your God-given call of wife and mother?)
~ People who hurt children, on purpose

3 Things On My Floor

~ Dirt (I'm not the world's best housekeeper)
~ Puzzle pieces (And I have three kids)
~ Lady (the dog)

3 Things I'm Doing Right Now

~ Listening for the next fight on the porch
~ Answering this meme
~ Listening to Praise and Worship Weekend on Sirius 66

3 Things I Want To Do Someday

~ Travel
~ Hire a housekeeper and cook
~ Wake up when I want to, instead of when I hear a suspicious crash in the living room or the boys' bedroom.

3 Things I can do

~ Type quickly
~ Simultaneously make dinner, type in my blog, supervise three smallish children, listen to the radio and talk on the phone. It's a gift, I know.
~ Ignore the mess my house is, b/c of the millions of people who were here this weekend with muddy feet after ten inches of rain.

3 Ways To Describe My Personality

~Outgoing
~Intelligent
~Different

3 Things I Cannot Do

~ Cook well
~ Drive well (just ask Nate)
~ Care that my house is not clean (sorry, this is a sore spot today.)

3 Things I Think You Should Listen To

~ the sounds of a baby nursing
~ the words to your favorite hymn. Really hear them
~ your mother (See Cathy -- I don't necessarily mean obey, or heed. But listen.)

3 Things I Think You Should Never Listen To

~ That little voice inside that says you are not good enough
~ Mean, petty people
~ Whining

3 Absolute Favorite Foods

~ Lasagna
~ Cheesecake
~ Ice Cream

3 Things I'd like to Learn

~ To shut up, when necessary
~ To just go with the flow, a little more
~ How to make children obey. The first time. Every time.

3 Beverages I Drink Regularly

~ Iced Tea
~ Mt. Dew
~ Root Beer

3 Shows I Watch
~ The Fairly OddParents
~ The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron
~ Clean Sweep

3 Bloggers I Tag...
I only know bloggers who have already done this, lol. Sorry. :)

Happy Birthday, B-Boo

2006-09-02T17:15:00.000-04:00

On this day, five years ago, you entered the world. At the time, I was a young mother, scared to death that I wouldn't know what to do with two little boys. As we left the hospital, your daddy and I both wondered how much like your big brother you would be.

The answer, it has turned out so far, is not at all. Wide open, where he is introspective. Outgoing and overly friendly, where he is quiet and shy.

We have often joked that if you were born first, we would have strongly considered having only one child. You are always a challenge.

But in return, you are openly loving, exuberant. So much like me, as you live with your emotions displayed on your sleeve for the whole world to read. You are the one who gets tears in his eyes when told that everyone grows up and moves away from their Mommy and Daddy, and sobs that you never want to be big. Then you ask when you will be old enough to drive, and say you can't wait. Flexible - when your birthday plans had to change this year, due to a lack of electricity at the park, you said, "It will be more fun at home!"

I love every moment, every challenge. You keep me on my toes, little boy. You are adorable -- and you know it.

I can't say in this brief moment how very much you mean to me, but know that it has been a fabulous five years. I adore you, as only your Mommy can.

Happy Birthday, my prince. Mommy loves you.

And my newly flexible life has its first test . . .

2006-08-31T03:51:00.000-04:00

Well, I've been bragging to everyone about how much I love homeschooling, and how it's just going to make my little angels even more perfect and well behaved -- okay, only those of you who have not personally met my little . . . angels . . . would believe that. But I have been seriously plugging the flexibility.

And now I can say, seriously, this flexibility is WAY COOL!!

J-Bo is sick -- not just a little sick, but vomiting, fever, alternating crying with sleeping, sick. Now, I know it's just the same bug that has been going around. But he's still miserable.

And we were able to structure the whole day around it!! Do the school stuff when he was sleeping, hold him when he was crying. It was all good. We got done what we needed to, and J-Bo still got cuddled. :)

I'm still not the world's best time manager. For example, he's asleep, and I need to clean the kitchen, but I'm blogging instead.

Oh, well. I'm still learning.

Why do I bake?

2006-08-29T19:42:00.000-04:00

Why do I bake? Why do I make hot fudge cake (from a box, but I still claim credit for it. It takes a lot of skill to pour that cup of water in and stir it fifty times). I LOVE hot fudge cake, so I suppose that is the answer. And I fool myself that it will be mainly for the children, that I will only eat a piece. Or, at the most, two. And then I end up thinking, "Well, B-Boo has some hyperactivity issues. He really can't eat more than one piece per day. It's not fair to let J-Rooni and J-Bo eat it in front of him." So, I end up eating more than a piece or two. Like, seven.

I have already been fitted for the dress for Melanie's wedding. I cannot gain any weight between now and December 2. It cannot happen.

So, why do I bake?

Seven Fantastic Years . . . . .

2006-08-28T21:17:00.000-04:00

To my husband:

Seven years ago, you and I became man and wife. We stood up in front of our friends and family and vowed to love, honor and cherish one another, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live.

We had absolutely no idea what we were in for.

It has been an incredibly crazy seven years. We have seen some ups, and some downs, and some middle-of-the-road times. But through it all, you have stood by me, stood with me, and supported me when I could not stand on my own. You have prayed for me, prayed with me, and become the true, Biblical head of our household.

You are a wonderful husband, and an even better father. Watching you love our boys brings a smile to my face every single day.

You will never know how much I love you.

Love, Me

Inventive

2006-08-28T00:50:00.000-04:00

My children have had a great time this weekend, riding their riding toys down the hill. It's not a steep hill, but steep enough to send the riding toys flying through the yard. We have more than enough riding toys to go around (if you're ever in the area, my house is the one with so many toys outside that it looks like a preschool). However, they stopped being content with just racing down the hill. Instead, they made an "invention." They are all big Jimmy Neutron fans, and so they are always inventing something or other. This invention involved a plastic riding tractor, a plastic wagon, the Radio Flyer red wagon, a tricycle and my entire meager collection of belts. And the dog leash. And the binocular straps. These were finagled by J-Rooni, to all be hooked together. And then ridden, while tied together, down the hill.

I will have you know, it has not been necessary to make a single trip to the emergency room.

I wished all of their "inventions" worked so well.

Odd . . .

2006-08-24T23:36:00.000-04:00

I just spell-checked that last post, and do you realize that blogger.com's built-in spell checker doesn't recognize the word "blog."

Ironic, ain't it?

Our first day!

2006-08-24T23:17:00.000-04:00

Okay, I really, really promise - this is NOT going to turn into a homeschool blog. But I couldn't tell everyone so much about the concept, and then not talk about our first day, could I?

Yesterday, as I wrote earlier, we went to the library, and each boy chose books for their book bags, which are the bags full of books (hence the oh-so-creative name) which I use to occupy one child while working one on one with the other when doing the reading and math, which are the only two things they have separately.

This morning, we got up and started our school routine (get up, get dressed independently, brush teeth, pick up your room, come in, eat breakfast), and we sat down at the table at about 9:30 to begin work. It will usually be 9:00, but my mom had a meeting in town, so we had to feed the calf. So, we sat down and I distracted J-Bo with Mr. Potato Head while we did Bible. Then, I had J-Rooni start on reviewing his letters and printing all of them in his best handwriting while B-Boo did his reading. Then, while B-Boo was doing his activity, J-Rooni did his language arts part. By this time, J-Bo was bored with Mr. Potato Head, and so I let him draw on the dry erase board. B-Boo finished up and played with J-Bo for a minute, while J-Rooni finished up his language arts part. Then, we got back together and did a little more review. We sang some songs, did an art project (page one of our Creation Book), which J-Bo got to help with, and then we were done! During J-Bo's nap, I read aloud for thirty minutes and they each read for at least fifteen (B-Boo) or thirty (J-Rooni). Not counting the reading time, we had a little over an hour and a half in school!

Now, this is just the introductory unit, which lasts about ten days. Since the curriculum we're using is My Father's World, which focuses on the world around us and God's part in it, the intro is an overview of creation. Usually, we'll have about two and a half hours each day with book work, not counting activities or the reading time.

I'm really fortunate, b/c the curriculum is easily made to be a multi-year approach. This means that both boys are in the same unit, in the same place, doing the same activities. I only do separate reading and math. After all, only being 17 months apart, there isn't a lot of cognitive difference in them as far as science and art go. And I just go as deep in depth as they want to go, or as I think they need to go. They each absorb to their own level. I expect more memory and more detail out of J-Rooni, since he is older. And he has a first grade (actually, it's really a second grade) language arts and math curriculum. Once the real work starts, ten days into it, we will do calendar and number of the day and 100 Chart together, with me expecting B-Bo to know the numbers and the day before and the day after, and J-Rooni to do simple equations (i.e., ___ + ___= number of the day). So, it limits my preparation and the amount of downtime each child has, but still allows me to go to the limits of their individual ability.

Well, that's enough droning on for tonight, I think. I'm just so fired up that it was such a great, great day!!!!

Now I have to go make homemade clay so we can make pottery jars tomorrow . . .

Off to the library . . .

2006-08-23T19:12:00.000-04:00

The boys and I went to the library this morning with my mom and my sister. My mom took us to lunch, for our last day of summer. She is a bus driver for the local public schools, so she went back to work on Monday. But, of course, she is off during the day.

On the way back, the boys were hot and whiny. They started whining that they wanted to ride Mannaw's bus, and that they wanted to go back to their real school. My mom is not really "pro-homeschool," so this was about the worst timing imaginable. She made a couple of comments about how she just wasn't sure about this whole idea, and then we moved on.

This led to a common (for me) dilemma. How much do I take into account what my boys want when I'm considering what is best for them? Obviously, not too much, but it plays some role. It's all about balancing what they want with what they need. Nate and I, as their parents, have determined that we want for them an educational system that allows us to put the Lord first, and credits Him as appropriate with His creation of the universe, and ongoing role as Lord and Savior. We, as their mom and dad, have determined that the boys need more one-on-one time, that our family needs to slow down and enjoy life more, and that we need to be more flexible. Homeschooling allows all of this. It doesn't, unfortunately, allow for the same peer group that they became used to last year. However, given some of the words B-Boo came home with last year, that may not be a bad thing . . .

*sigh* - being a mom is NOT easy. Don't let anyone ever tell you it is!!

Things I wish my children instinctively knew

2006-08-21T00:01:00.000-04:00

- Toilet flushing is not hazardous to one's health

- Toys do not magically put themselves back in the toybox. It does not matter how long you leave it lying on the floor; it will never grow legs and walk in by itself.

- Dirty dishes operate in much the same way toys do.

- "Helping" doesn't mean doing the part you think is fun. I love you, but sometimes, really helping means staying out of the way.

- It is possible to play without hitting, wrestling or destroying something.

- All the whining does is irritate me. Really. It's not helping.

- The best way to get what you want is to obey.

*sigh*

I guess this is the reason they need me, right? :)

This is not a homeschool blog . . .

2006-08-19T00:47:00.000-04:00

But it is a blog about my life and what I'm thinking about. And, right now, all I'm thinking about is homeschooling. I tend to do that about things. When something is big in my life, it's sort of all I tend to think about. I have a bit of an obsessive personality, you might say. I've been reorganizing and cleaning my house to make room for a school area and an organizational system; I've been researching homeschooling on the internet and finding sample schedules; I've been embroidering "proud homeschool mom" on all of my clothes -- okay, maybe not that one.

So, I was sitting on the bed trying to set out lesson plans. Now, the curricula come with lesson plans, but I'm trying to adapt them by combining some activities between the two kids, and allowing J-Bo to participate as much as possible. I've never actually homeschooled before, obviously, so this may well be an exercise in futility. I like the idea of a nifty schedule and a more structure day, as it keeps me accountable. However, realistically, I know that we won't always (ever?) stick exactly to it. After all, the flexibility of homeschooling was one of its biggest selling points to us.

I suppose I better just wing it for a week or two, and then reevaluate. Or, most likely, just keep winging it -- after all, I haven't ruined my kids so far, right? :)

School shopping

2006-08-17T13:57:00.000-04:00

I had the privilege of going school shopping the other night, with my husband and without my children. As this is our first year of homeschool, I believe we may have gone a little overboard with purchasing our supplies. I was afraid I would be right in the middle of a lesson and not have what I needed. Plus, lots of old homeschool veterans have told me, over and over, "Make sure you have what you need. Don't try to scrimp on supplies. You will only create frustration." So, off to K-Mart I went, with my wallet-carrying husband in tow.

We got everything on the list in the curriculum, in duplicates, along with some extras for J-Bo to play with while the older two are having school. We spent about $115. At first, I could not believe how much it cost. Then, I happened to take a look at the lists of required from the public schools that were on all the shelves. There was more stuff on there than we bought. They now require hand sanitizer, tissues, wet wipes, crayons and such to share, specific types of notebooks (and woe to you if you buy the wrong one!); the list went on and on. After glancing at the lists, I believe that we would have had more in supplying the kids for public school!

I thought it was supposed to be free . . . .

Friends

2006-08-15T11:32:00.000-04:00

A side effect of my recent attempts at prioritizing better, including setting aside time to blog more regularly, is that I have thought about the things in my life that are important, and are worthy of my time. Obviously, my faith and my family are first, and are worthy of my time and attention. But something that I think we as women often forget is friendship with other women.

I have three particularly close friends, outside of my family. I have many acquaintances, and some others I would call friends. But these three are the ones that come to mind when I think, "Friend."

First is my friend Melanie. She has been my friend since 9th grade, and has known me the longest. She knew me in high school, when Nate and I were dating, and through our wedding and the addition of three boys. She is now preparing to get married, and so we are and have been at very different places in our lives. But friendship is more than just superficial things - I have the facts of marriage and children in common with tons of women. And we could always find something to talk about! But Melanie and I have honesty, at an unusual level, and deep, core values in common.

Second is my friend Cathy. We met first about eight years ago, but really became friends first about four years ago. She is a woman with whom I have children and marriage, and the type of work we do, but so, so much more in common. We view so many things the same way, that it is scary sometimes! I can say things like, "I wish my children would just go away today," or, "You know, if I don't sweep up the goldfish they just spilled, the dog will eat them eventually," and know that she feels just where I'm coming from!

Third is my friend Val. We haven't been friends very long, but we very quickly went past the preliminary getting-to-know-you stages, and have progressed to the, "Now, I'm leaving all three of my kids with you for more than one night, and you're good with that, right?" stage. I have kept five of her eight kiddos, and she's keeping all three of mine at one time. Because of the age spread in her kids, she's actually taking on a lot more work than I did! But, we don't work that way. It's about helping, and talking, and having a sounding board and someone to be where we are, right there with us. We have a lot more than just our kids in common - we were both young moms, we're active in the same church, for starters.

Well, ladies, I thought that you deserved your own post, for all of your influence on me. Thanks so much for being my friends!! I need you and love you all more than you know!!

The joys of sick children

2006-08-13T17:32:00.000-04:00

Two out of my three kiddos are sick or afflicted in some way this weekend, and I am going to be perfectly honest - there are some good things about sick kids. Now, I am not talking about serious sickness, where you are terrified for them and would give anything, anything at all, to see them healthy again. I am so blessed to have experienced that sort of sickness only peripherally, when B-Boo was a six week old infant and struggling to breathe with RSV and pneumonia. It was a crazy time in our life, and I think back and am so, so grateful it passed quickly and I can look back on those days with the knowledge that Lord brought him the next breath every single time.

I'm thinking today about the kind of sickness every child has. The kind of sickness that causes the following sentence to come from the mouth of a four-year-old, "It's okay, Mama. This time, it was just big, mushy poopy-doodles." J-Bo had an accident yesterday, and as a result has a busted lip and is feeling a little sore. So, he's just kind of laying around. B-Boo has an upset stomach (obviously) and lots of congestion and runny eyes. So, he is just kind of laying around. I don't want any of my children to be sick - I want them happy and healthy, of course. But, they are all getting so big that they don't really cuddle with Mama much anymore. And, it's kind of nice to have them wanting to be in my lap. And, to be honest, when they're sick I don't feel guilty cutting on the TV and letting them watch while I do some of the eight million things I don't usually have time to do. They are a lot easier to watch that way.

So, while I certainly will be glad when they are all well again, there is some part of me that loves that Mama is the only one that can hold them, the only one that makes it better.

Except when it's 2:00 a.m.

What was I thinking?

2006-08-12T18:46:00.000-04:00

What on earth was I thinking? Seriously. Somehow, I had this magical thought that once I was at home with my children full time, I would have oodles to say and be blessed with hours worth of time to type it. Okay, maybe I wasn't quite that naive, but I certainly thought I would have more time than when I was working full time.

I think maybe what I didn't realize was that I would still be working full time. Only, even more so than before. Working full time outside of the home was easier than this, at least for me.

And I haven't even started my homeschool year yet . . .

But the other thing that I've learned is that I need this place to just say something, to just put my thoughts out there. Even if no one ever reads it -- and I don't know if anyone ever does. But that's not what it's about for me. It's all about feeling heard. If any man were to ever read this, they would likely not get that last statement. But for the women who may read, I think you will. If I put it out there, I feel heard.

So, I am making a commitment to be more disciplined about this!! After all, how will I be able to keep a maintained school schedule, if I can't even commit to fifteen minutes to write a day?

Keep me accountable!! :)

New places

2006-05-30T08:04:00.000-04:00

Well, as most of you know, today is my "official" first day as a Stay At Home Mom. As an aside, what idiot coined that phrase? Most of the ones I know stay at home all day about once a month! But I digress . . .

Technically, Friday was my last day of work -- well, the work I got paid for. However, since yesterday was Memorial Day and I would have been off anyway, I took yesterday "off." Meaning, I watched the kiddos play on the slip and slide (and beat up my sister) instead of folding laundry. Today I start my new life.

And for our family, it really is going to be a new life -- and a new place for our family. We are so used to the rat race, to running everywhere. And I'm not saying that our life is going to be totally relaxed now that I'm home -- but we should have clean clothes and clean dishes, and maybe I can make it to the grocery store more than once a month so that we're not down to "Hmm . . .what can we make with a can of Spaghetti Sauce and black beans?" (Answer: pull the tortillas you forgot about out of the fridge, grab some shredded cheese from the local convenience store and offer the children either Pizza tortillas or black bean and cheese enchiladas. A tomato sauce is a tomato sauce, right?)

So, while thinking about this, my brain turned to putting my words to paper - as it often does. The best I could come up with is below.

To My Children
As I sit here, I watch you play. I watch you laugh, and I am happy because you are happy. I am sad when you are sad, even if you are sad because I said no, or because I'm doing something "for your own good." I pray for you constantly, and I pray for those who become a part of your life. As I watch you grow, I realize this is what it is truly about. Our Lord tells us not to store up our treasures here on earth, but to store up treasures in Heaven. I cannot take one single physical item with me when I go Home. But I can take you. Each of you. So, it does not seem like a difficult decision at all to spend my time and energy and effort on the only treasures I truly have. I love you, boys. Love, Mommy.

A snapshot

2006-05-17T00:00:00.000-04:00

An experiment in stream of consciousness and poemic prose - apologies to both of you who read this.

A snapshot of us, from all angles.

From a close-up angle - I sit here, writing, surrounded by lights and sounds and smells. The sounds that mean my home, my world. The sounds of my children, sleeping, breathing through the thin walls of my old home. The slightly dim lights of the same older home, which seems to never have all fully functional lightbulbs. The smell, tonight, of disenfectant and sickness. My home is full of the remnants of a nasty stomach bug. Fast moving, praise God, but hard hitting. Home.

From a step farther back - the lights glow through the windows, seeming bright in the night. The TV flickers. The house is shut up tightly, closed against the chilly spring dark. The sounds here are of night bugs and birds. Faintly, the cars from the highway a half mile away provide a backdrop. The smell is fresh, spring-like, and cool. Home.

From a step farther back - Faintly, the lights can be seen through the trees. The yard is dark. It smells of the country, rural America. Still, quiet, Home.

From the farthest point - the Father sees not the house, smells not the spring night. He is the Light. His home is our hearts, if we open them. Our prayers are His sweet incense.

View it all from farther away, and the details become more clear, not less so. The important details shine, the extraneous disappears.

A snapshot of us, from all angles.

Profound Thoughts

2006-04-25T00:18:00.000-04:00

My friend Cathy wrote a recent post about how she can never think what to write when she is in front of her computer; how her profound thoughts always strike her when she's doing something else. For me, my most profound thoughts strike while I'm driving down the road, by myself. I work in town, and J-Bo is in daycare out near my house. So, I usually have a twenty-five minute drive, each way, to think and listen to the radio. My thoughts range from the profound (I was recently struck by the truth that time isn't linear) to the the mundane (generally a grocery list or dinner menu). So, on the way home this evening, I was thinking about the way the Bible calls us to behave. Now, I do NOT believe that you have to behave in a certain way, or "earn" your way to Heaven. I believe that if you love the Lord, you will want to behave in ways that please Him. The Bible just tells us what those ways are.

So, today, as I'm driving down the road, I was thinking the following: 1) No one in this town can drive except me (present company excepted, of course); 2) I do not like sharing the road with people who cannot drive; 3) Life would be a lot easier if the Bible called us to "share our feelings." For example, it would be a lot nicer if the Bible called us to really let the lady who cut us off have it - just let her know how we feel. Or that guy on his cell phone who almost ran us out of the road at the interstate interchange. I'd really like to get up close and personal with him. But I have the Christian fish symbol on my car, and a bumper sticker advertising the Christian radio station in this area on my back glass. So, I am attempting to live up to that witnesss, and behave as Christ would.

Maybe tomorrow, I'll take the bus . . .

Can you know?

2006-04-06T22:23:00.000-04:00

My husband and I went to see Third Day in concert a while back with some friends. They put on an AWESOME show. I truly enjoyed the experience, and the music was just fantastic. The opening act, The David Crowder Band, was also very entertaining. I would definitely go see either of them in concert again!

One of my favorite parts of the show was when Third Day's lead singer, Mac Powell, spoke about his daughter Scout, who is six years old, coming to know the Lord. He was happy, of course, but he said he wondered deep inside if his daughter really knew what she was doing, what she was saying. He wondered if she knew what salvation was all about, what God was all about, or if she was just moving forward on limited understanding.

I've been thinking about this recently, with all of my job changes coming up in the next couple of months, and J-Bo's biological parents beginning to approach their release dates.

He said that God spoke to him - not literally, but in the stillness of his heart - and told him, "You don't know. Do you think you have any better understanding of my nature than she does?"

I fully understand that I don't fully understand the nature of God. I love Him, and He loves me, and He's watching out for my family. But I think that my children, with their wide-eyed belief and firm, unshakeable faith in the Lord and His love for them, and His creation, probably have a better idea of God's nature than I do, with my questions and doubts.

My children continuously test me, frustrate me, and drive me nuts. But, at times like this, they inspire me, too.

Changes

2006-04-05T22:27:00.000-04:00

You know, tonight for some reason, I keep thinking about how much my life has changed since my oldest son was born. J-Rooni is six, and he just seems so big to me right now. I don't know why, but for some reason, the changes in my life have just struck me very much. For example, I took the two older boys to Bible Study tonight. My husband gets migraines, and he had a bad one tonight. So, the baby, J-Bo, stayed at home with him, and I took the older two with me. Why, might you ask, did this trigger soul searching and introspection? Perhaps, you might say, it was a message from my gifted pastor, or something one of my brothers or sisters in Christ may have said while we were fellowshiping (Christianese for talking) after the study. Or perhaps even the lesson my children learned while they were there that struck me just so.

Nope. Not even close. Tonight, it was the water that the four year old, B-Boo, dumped on me that made me think. He did not want to leave when we were done, because he wanted a turn to play the drums on the stage. It's a church with a contemporary service, and we have a wonderful praise band. The guy who runs the soundboard lets the children come up on the stage after church and, with his direct supervision, play the drums and learn about the musical instruments. I have not yet let B-Boo experience this - or rather, I have not yet forced the church to endure him on a set of drums. He's loud enough with the instruments God gave him; I've not seen any reason to gift him with "musical" instruments. He got very upset at me, not only for not letting him play, but for causing him to spill his water when I held his arm and made him walk back down the steps with me. He actually threw the cup at me, with the little water that was in it. Now, I will grant him some leeway because it was an hour past his bedtime, he was very hungry, and he had already had a rough day. But even given that, there is no excuse for what he did. So, I held his arm, made him walk to the row of chairs, sat him down, and got J-Rooni ready to roll. I gathered all of their stuff, my Bible, notebook and cell phone, and we climbed up in the car.

What do you mean, you're still not seeing it? You don't see the reason for my introspection yet?
As I got in the car and prepared to go through the Burger King drive thru, it struck me that I had just handled a scene. I had been by myself with both bigger boys, and there was a lot going on, and I took control and did what I needed to do and handled it. If you had been inside my head during those awful days after J-Rooni was born, when it didn't seem like I would ever be in control of even myself; or part of my family during those first months when J-Bo came to live with us and things were so crazy, I wondered if I was destroying my family by trying to save him, you would see it. You would see how far I have come.

I'm not saying that I am completely all together, or the best mom ever, or any other ridiculous blather. But I'm saying I'm okay. I'm making it, I've got it as together as it's ever going to get around here, and I'm raising great kids.

And that, especially that, makes it all worth it.

2006-04-03T22:03:00.000-04:00

Well, just to fill in the three of you who actually read this, lol, I am now typing this on my new laptop computer! Yep, I'm moving on up in the world, to a laptop. And I now have DSL at home. So, I'll actually be able to update this.

I hope you all are ready -- my brain has been very busy while my computer has been down. And of course, I'm sure you're absolutely dying to know what my three little "angels" have been up to!!

Change is in the air

2006-01-11T11:54:00.000-05:00

I am terrified. I am scared stiff. I have finally told my work that I can no longer afford to keep my children in daycare full time, particularly this summer when the older two are out of school. Nate has a good job now, and things are going pretty well. We're broke all of the time, but somehow I think that we won't be any more broke without my full income, because the cut in daycare will break even. But the money is not even really why I'm so scared. I really want to know, am I doing the right thing?

There is a joke that I'm sure you know, about a man whose home town is flooding. He is in his house, and the water is up on the porch, when his neighbors leave in their john boat. They ask him to come along, and he says, "No, God will save me." The water continues to rise, and the man is up on his second story, when the National Guard come through in their boat. He refuses to leave with them, saying, "No, God will save me." The water gets even higher, and he's up on his roof when an Army helicopter comes by and tries to get him. He refuses, saying, "No, God will save me." The man drowns, and stands before God. He says, "God, where were You? I thought You would save me." God looks at the man and says, "I sent you two boats and a helicopter."

I want to do what the Lord wants me to do. I want to do His will. But what is His will? We have prayed, and read, and studied, and I feel we are doing the best thing we can. But I still wonder, are we stepping out on faith, cutting my income this way? Are we doing God's will, trusting in Him to provide financially for our family, and putting our focus on the other, much more important aspects of life? Or is God saying, "I sent you a good job. I have provided for you."

Has he sent me two boats and a helicopter?

I don't think I can know at this point. I am reminded of my very favorite poem, credited Anonymous, which I feel must have been written by someone facing a life-changing decision, and I think it describes where we stand right now:

FAITH

When you have come to the edge
of all the light you know
and are about to step off
into the darkness of the unknown,

Faith is knowing
one of two things will happen:
There will be something solid to stand on,
or you will be taught how to fly.

So, please pray for us, as we step off . . .

Behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy . . .

2005-12-21T11:40:00.000-05:00

"And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:) to be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. " Luke 2:1-14

As we run to complete our gift buying and gift giving; as we become more and more rushed, and less and less peace-filled; as the hectic time of what Christmas has become sweeps us under its power, let's take this opportunity to remember Christmas as it was intended - a celebration of the greatest gift ever given, the greatest sacrifice ever made, by the loving Father of all, who sent his Son to be born of a woman and laid in a humble manger, to live on Earth, to die as propitiation for our sins, and to be raised again on the third day as final Victory over death and hell.

Glory to God in the highest!!!

Merry Christmas.

2005-12-08T10:11:00.000-05:00

My Family, Christmas 2005

Positively positive

2005-12-06T15:53:00.000-05:00

I was looking back over the posts I have typed, and they seem kind of . . . negative. Which is a shame, really. I'm not a negative kind of person. I have a good life, and I know and can appreciate how really rare that is. So, in honor of that, I have decided to put forth the effort to be a positive person, with my children, at work and in life in general. Specifically, I will not yell at my children for infractions that do not deserve yelling (ditto for spanking), or waste my time griping about things I cannot change (and things that are not nearly as bad as they feel). I will not get into long conversations with pessimists. I will not panic about the fact that there are X number of days until Christmas, and I'm completely not ready. (Although, as an aside, there really are not many days at all until Christmas, and I'm really, really not ready . . .)

Philosophically, I wonder why it is so hard for us to focus on the positives, to count our blessings? Why am I not insanely grateful every day that God sent his son to endure horrible punishments that no parent would ever want their child to undergo, all for me (and you, too)? Why is it so much easier to focus on the deplenishing balance in the checking account than to focus on the smiles of my children, or their beautiful, angelic, sleeping faces? I mean, I've met my kids awake - I understand why they might not seem like such a blessing when they're up and fighting. :) But they truly are wonderful, particularly one-on-one . . . and asleep. My husband is fabulously wonderful - kind, gentle, caring, considerate. Why is it so much easier to focus on the fact that the man cannot cook without dirtying every single dish in the house, or that he simply does not have the ability to put dirty clothes in the hamper, than to focus on the fact that he cooked a wonderful meal for us, or that the reason his clothes are so dirty is because he works so hard to provide for us?

I think it's all part of our fallen nature - another aspect of our humanity. But I, for one, am going to put more effort into the other side; into having a "blue skies" attitude. I will make it a point to be positively positive.

I'll let you know how it goes. I'm not really holding out that much hope that I'll be succesful.

Christmas Is Coming!! Christmas Is Coming!!

2005-11-30T13:50:00.000-05:00

Well, it's official. The "Holidays" are well and truly upon us now. And now begins the tug-of-war in my life; indeed, in the lives of almost everyone I know. How do I keep this season of love and joy, this time of celebration of the birth of Christ, centered on the true meaning? How do I teach my children that Christmas is about more than gifts - in fact, it's not really even about material gifts at all? I know this is a question people have been asking for some time. It seems to be a more pertinent question every year. But I think I have found part of the problem, at least in my household. I think we cannot keep Christmas centered on love, joy, peace and Christ, and not on material wealth and gifts, when we focus the rest of the year on exactly these wrong things.

Each year about this time, it seems that people really notice how material and worldly our children have all become. But I would submit to you, reader, that the blame lies not with our children, but with us. Why shouldn't my boys ask for every toy they see on TV for Christmas? After all, their room is bursting at the seams with more toys than are in an entire third world country. They wear name-brand clothes (mostly hand-me-downs, but still). They ride in a nice car, and we live in a comfortable home with a nice yard. When they ask us why Nate and I go to work, we tell them it is to make money for the things we need. Then they see the way that we live - not in excess, certainly, but comfortably - and they make their own judgments about why we work, and how we define "need." With our lives, with our choices, and with every purchase we make or commercial we comment upon, we teach our children that every day is, at least in part, about making our way in this world. Why should Christmas be any different?

So we have made a point, in our home, of spending time together, of enjoying one another's company, and celebrating those values we want our children to particularly treasure at Christmas time. And perhaps if we live our lives a little more centered on love, joy, peace and Christ for 364 days, it won't take quite so much effort for the Christmas spirit next year.

Thanksgiving

2005-11-28T23:45:00.000-05:00

As we begin the Holiday season, traditionally full of thanks and happiness and love, I am reminded of a time when I thought I would never truly feel happy again, and I am so thankful to have left that behind. I struggled mightily with postpartum depression after the birth of my oldest son. I have tried as hard as I could to put my feelings and experiences during that time into words, and below is something I wrote some time ago that does the best job:

"I have seen rock bottom. I did not really crash -- it would be more accurate to say that I brushed it, and turned back up again.

I have been in that place where the light is so far away that it seems only a dream, the creation of an overwrought imagination; and felt that pain that hurts so deep inside it seems no one can ever reach it, like you'll never be warm all the way through again.

I have logically counted my blessings, and seen that if happiness were like a scale, with trials and tribulations balanced against blessings, I should never have a reason to cry. And cried anyway, for no reason at all.

And then one day, as I stared eternity in the face, as I sat nose to nose with rock bottom, for some reason known only to God, and through His grace, I was able to turn around and claw my way into the walking world, into laughter and sunshine and friendship and the innocent love of my children. I was able to smile.

But sometimes, some days, for no apparent reason, I can sense that rock bottom is not as far away as I think it is. I must watch my steps, and guard my heart, and pray. Because the abyss is deep, and I do not know if I am strong enough to climb out again."

Chaos Unleashed

2005-11-22T16:53:00.000-05:00

You know, just when it seems that I am on a roll, that I have this whole "life" thing figured out, something new and different comes up, a wrench in the works, so to speak. For example, I am specifically talking about this whole "working mother" thing. Now, I make no claim to be the world's best mother - I'm certainly not the mom baking cookies from scratch and dressing you in your homemade costume in the sparkling house. (As an aside, does that mom even really exist?) I'm not even, truly, the mom that keeps the house clean enough for company to drop in unexpectedly. At least, not company that would care that the leaves on the floor didn't just blow in; in fact, in my house, those leaves may have been laying there since October. Of 2003. But I do love my children, and I am there for them, and they are well fed and clothed and clean. And I like my job - don't get me wrong. I enjoy working as a legal assistant at a small law firm. I'm busy, and challenged, and every day is slightly different, and it's fabulous. But this balancing act - it's hard. Don't let anyone ever tell you differently. That mom that looks like she's got it all together? She's either faking it, or else her nanny and housekeeper have it all together for her. The past few days, two of my three boys have been sick. And that's hard. I swore I would never be the mom that dosed her children up with Tylenol and sent them to school anyway. And of course, the laundry is still not caught up. And the sink is full of dirty dishes, while the dishwasher is full of clean ones. And the boys' room looks like the aftermath of Tornado Rexrode. And I'm behind at work. And tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and I'm supposed to make corn pudding and macaroni and cheese (twice each) for two different occasions.
I guess this is what life is like these days - always pulled in a thousand directions, always running to stay right where you are. I can handle that. I just wish someone would slow down the treadmill a little.

Welcome!

2005-11-16T14:11:00.000-05:00

Welcome to my blog!! This is my first attempt at putting my thoughts into the great big world, but certainly not my first attempt to put them in writing. Although, I must admit, this is the first time I've ever put them out where other people could read them. I've always thought some of the things that go on in my head were best left there. There is always this suspicion that I am the only one whose brain works just so, or whose thoughts and feelings don't stem from a logical process of any kind. I know I look normal, I look like everyone else - today, I'm wearing simple black pants and a sweater. But do I work the way everyone else does inside? Or, if I share these processes, will people shy away from me, with that sickly half-smile and nod that really means, "Back away slowly - don't look her straight in the eye."
But I'm going to do this anyway, with the supposition that maybe everyone hides things inside the way I do. Maybe they look normal, but maybe they are swirling, whirling, tossing and turning where I cannot see. Maybe.

With My Hands Full

Housekeeping, Day 2: Just do it

Housekeeping, Day 1: Appreciate it

Clean, clear, pristine

Housekeeping

Snow

Justin

Church planting

Giving of thanks

Self Confidence

Oh, dear

Growing up

M2M scavenger hunt answers

Blessings & the work they require

Children's Ministry

Awesome realization

Yay, a Carnival!!!!!!

A Kool-Aid Mom

Cute

Good Little Christian Family

Help out a great cause!

Happy Birthday, Joshua!!

Update on Homeschooling

Politics, Religion and Her

Car without kids

Back at this thing

Cool giveaway

Courtesy of Cath

Which princess are you?

Which Disney Princess Are You?

The reason is the thing

Baseball season

New trick

My brain is rotting

An image received during worship

Together

Love is . . .

What God told me recently (Paraphrased)

Priority Concern

Another year

A rare moment of prudence

The death of a church

We're baaa-aack

Where are we going?

Child Rearing Philosophies

Real people, not molds

Prayer Request

Checking in

Some people have absolutely no common sense

Man, life is crazy

A question from a six year old . . .

Thanks

With all due respect . . .

I've been playing

Well, I did it again

Our doctor visit (LONG - sorry)

Not so very long ago . . .

What was I thinking?

It's my birthday!!

September 11, 2006

Happy Birthday, B-Boo

And my newly flexible life has its first test . . .

Why do I bake?

Seven Fantastic Years . . . . .

Inventive

Odd . . .

Our first day!

Off to the library . . .

Things I wish my children instinctively knew

This is not a homeschool blog . . .

School shopping

Friends

The joys of sick children

What was I thinking?

New places

A snapshot

Profound Thoughts

Can you know?

Changes

Change is in the air